Happy Thursday - or my monday?

Good morning everyone!

Its Thursday to most of the world but my shifts start today so it feels like my Monday. Yippee.

I actually got up when I said I would and did a yoga for runners segment from youtube. It was just what my hips needed and a great way to start the day.

I have - haha had because kids just woke up ... a few minutes to enjoy a cup of coffee before heading into work.

I pre - logged all my food for today to make sure Im in the right macros.

Im off.

And please send some hugs and prayers if that's your thing to the police family of the Baltimore officer in grave condition at shock trauma. It is my worst fear as a police wife.

loss but a slow down

I am a bit bummed this morning - todays weigh in was 207.4. Down 0.6 lbs this week.

Some stats from this week

• 1 day I lost it and at a ridiculous amount of halloween candy, cereal and toast in the evening
• 1 day I ate "off"plan as scheduled
• I tracked my food 3 of the days this week
• One of the days I tracked I was WAY over on fat and minimal protein
• One of the days I tracked I was double my normal carbs
• I completed 2/3 of my planned runs, 1/2 weight training days and no yoga. 

So while technically I lost weight this week - what I was doing wasnt working. But also what I was doing wasn't really what I should have been doing. 

What am I going to do different this week?

1. Im tracking every day this week. 

2. Goal to be within my macros 100% for 5 days

3. My off meals that will not be CRAZY off - wednesday dinner out with family and saturday dinner out with my mom. 

4. No night binges 

5. Get all my planned workouts in - 3 runs, 2 weight training days and one yoga day

6. Minimal 5 days this week of interm fasting with eat timing from noon to 8pm. 

What macros am I aiming for?

Calories 1377

Protein 72

Fat 62-138

net carbs 20

Where did I get this from?

http://impulsiveketo.com/wp/macros/

today turned into that day...

I had no intention of today being my "off" day.

I weighed in yesterday. Today starts a new week. So one of these 7 days is a "free" day.

I had no intention of today being that day - but this morning I woke up hungry and gave in to non plan food. Today has been off since then - yummy but off.

So that means tomorrow I wake up and need to be focused.

The next 6 days need to be on point.

I will be here every day the next 6 days - proving to myself that I can stay focused and on point. I can do this. If I want good outcomes I need to do the work.

WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY 11/8/17

WOOHOO - a week of lazy keto has served me well.

What do I consider lazy keto? 5 of the 7 days I ate what I was supposed to. 2 of those 5 I actually tracked and made sure I was under 20 net carbs. 1 of the 7 I was 95% keto but had a cheese garlic buscuit for dinner. 1 of the 7 I was TOTALLY off and went out to eat with hubby and had pasta and wine.

And the result - weigh in today was 208 :)  Down another two lbs.

Could it have been more if I was strict keto? Of course. Do I do well when I stress that I have to be 100% on all the time... hell no.

So until this way doesnt work - this is how Im doing things.

Wed is weigh in day - between wed and the next tuesday I get one meal to splurge on. If I dont need it then great - If I do then its there waiting for me.

Will I eat a bite of something my kid makes me - hell yes.

Will I eat all of it, no.

Proud of myself!

Its been a good day :)

Its been a pretty good day -

Started off with me getting kids on bus and heading back to bed until 1030... it was magical :)

Then got my butt up and headed to the gym - got my first training run of 1.5 miles done and some weight training.

Slow but steady

And then my favorite part of planet fitness!

Then the day was spent cleaning up the house, meal prepping, helping my cousin study for an exam, and took the dog for a walk.

Followed by kids being home and homework, reading, site words, robotics, dinner and some trampoline time with the little one - boy is that a workout.

I picked today to be my accountability day and log everything. Make sure a normal day is where I need it to be - I rocked it! Trying to keep total carbs under 50 and net carbs under 20. My calories were in range. I got my water in today. I worked out.

My poor dog cant catch a break from the kitten. She insist on sleeping with the dog and being with her all the time. My Gracie is a happy dog so her tail is always wagging... which the cat thinks is her personal toy...

And then the 11 year old asked to watch "Space Balls" - yes space balls... apparently its what all the 6th grade boys were talking about. So Im off to curl up and watch a cheesy ass movie with my boy :)

Happy daylight savings... NOT

I really really really hate daylight savings time. I hate it getting dark at 5pm for the next what seems like forever. I hate it being dark on my way to and from work. I hate it. Blah!


Anyways, yesterday was my husband birthday. 42 years young. I chose his birthday to be my nonketo day since I am trialing a more relaxed keto. We went out to dinner to a new italian place and it was so so so yummy! I wish I would have taken pictures, omg it was so good.

But I woke up this morning feeling yucky. Fingers swollen. Dehydrated. Feel like a slug.

Granted I did planned to only indulge for the one meal and it ended up being a full day of carbs carbs and a side of carbs. I really need to stick to one meal.

But this morning I was right back on track - which is not normally like me.... I would have wanted the chocolate chip pancakes the kids had or the CANDY but nope... Im back.

Today I also saw a photo of my amazing niece in 9th grade at a cross country meet... omg does she look fierce and strong and amazing! Last summer she wasn't sure she wanted to do cross country. She had never really ran before. BUT the coach talked her into it and she put her head down and put in the work and boy does it show. I am so proud of her!!!!!

It reminded me that I have a 1/2 marathon in April. This past 2 years I have SUCKED at running. I keep hoping to get my runners high back and sign up for race after race and then my training goes out the window and I defer or lose my money.

I REFUSE to do that again.

So I have 24 1/2 weeks until my race... a nice long time to get my ass in gear and not slack off until there is only 6 weeks left! That feeling is HORRIBLE and I do not want to feel it again.

Tonight I sat down and made my training plan. I planned 6 days but some of the workouts will happen on the same days - like an easy run and my weight training. So some weeks will be 6 days, some shorter. Some if Im feeling awesome, maybe I will add another day of yoga or a hill repeater or speed workout. Who knows.

11/1/17 WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY

Happy wednesday everyone :)

Today's weigh in really only shows me on track for two days (mon and tues) but I will take it! Decided to do pics and measurements every other week so none of those for today.

And guess who has eaten NO halloween candy????? THIS GIRL ... woohoo!


Today's weigh in 210 ... down 2.2 lbs.

Yesterday I was pretty sluggish. Today I increased my electrolytes and water intake and feel awesome.

Worked 12 hours today. Home, lunch/dinner is packed for tomorrow and I am off to bed :)

Monday Matters

Happy Monday everyone!

My morning started off just like I needed it to - after we got the kids on the bus hubby and I went back to bed until 10am! It was glorious. Nice cold morning + sleeping in = one happy mom!

Then it was off to the school to do my volunteer duties. I am the box top chick.. fun fun... today was getting new sheets out to all the teachers for Tuesday folders and collecting what needs to be sorted.

Then some fun target shopping for girl clothes - I have a shopping problem! But I have a very well dressed little girl!

Just in time to get home to have an awesome lunch! While I am all for interm fasting, Im not actively attempted it. Today it just happenned. First meal at noon, end by 8pm. Cool beans.

My lunch rocked. It was a salad mix with kale, spinach and shaved brussel sprouts, grilled chicken, avacado, walnuts and homemade ranch... so good, so filling and within my macros!

Then it was off to help my awesomely amazing 16 year old cousin get a new bed - which was HILARIOUS watching us get it attached to my van ... GIRL POWER!

this is Suzy :)

Now Im watching my 5 year old make a book - she is so stinking cute!

The rest of the night will fly by. G gets home from robotics at 6. Dinner. Flu shots for the kids. Carving pumpkins. Bed time stuff and then hitting the gym for my weights workout :)

All in all great freaking day :)

edited to add a quick video :)

quick Sunday update

Hi everyone - real quick update :)

10/25/27 WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY

So far the only thing that has happened consistently is logging on here but its a start!

The other start is my weekly weigh in ... WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY

I typically have an issue with scales and weigh in daily - Im going to really try not to do it only weekly. Plus weekly photos and weigh in's.

So here goes...

Todays weigh in is my new starting point - sad but true. Its where I am right now. Only going down from here!!!  Don't I have just the prettiest bathroom floor ever... yuck.

And the starting off photos - wow this one is HARD. I hope having these here weekly shows me progress and makes posting these horrible photos worth it! 

MEASUREMENTS

Chest 47 in

Abdomen 44in

Hips 49 in

R bicept 14in

Right thigh 28 1/2

Right calf 17

Neck 14 3/4

consistency, not perfection

      I am an ALL OR NOTHING person. I will work my butt off for a few days, maybe a week. Then something doesn't go right - I don't get a workout in, miss my water mark, go out to eat, have a bad day and have a few glasses of wine... and then Im in the NOTHING phase for weeks where I feel horrible and pitiful until Im ready to be ALL again.


I think that is the first thing that I need to take a strong look at in the goal of getting healthier, fitter, happier. Im not going to be perfect - its not attainable. What I need to work on is consistency.

The other part of all or nothing is that I try to fix EVERYTHING at once... Im still struggling with this. When I try to focus on one thing at a time to snow ball to the next one, I get into the NOTHING phase before I can add or stick to anything consistently.

What do I want to work on being consistent...

For me:

• Drink minimally 80 oz of water a day - when I try its easy, when I dont then I drink coffee all day. 
• Lift weights three times a week - I looked back on my weight training journal and its so sporadic.
• Run/jog/walk two to three times a week - I miss the running me so much. 
• Really give KETO eating a try - consistently for 3-4 months to see if it really makes me feel better. I love the science behind the diet. I get it. I understand it. BUT I do it for a day or two then not and that is not good for my body even a smidge. I need to commit to it for a few months and see if I get all the benefits I hope for. 
• Try to look nice daily - Im a hot mess most of the time. Im in workout gear or scrubs. I let my hair air dry and its a mess, no makeup unless Im working. And then I wonder why I do not feel pretty or girlie. 

For Others:

• volunteer regularly with my children - I want them to understand that life is about helping as much if not more than getting. They are very lucky children and others are not nearly as lucky. 
• Date my husband - this goes with the looking nice... we are in a rut. Its a happy lovey rut but we need to get a bit uncomfortable every once in a while. 

Few pics from today 

I need to take some new NOW photos... figured I would at least post one from today to show where my body is right now. BLAH. 

A super important part of keto is electrolytes - they are required if you want to keep feeling good. My favorite way to get them in is a homemade "gatorade". Himilayian sea salt, NU-salt (potassium), stevia and lemon. Simple. Works. Taste good. Even my kids like it! This bottle holds 48 oz... my goal is two of these a day... one with mix in, one without.

My workout today - felt pretty awesome until the planks. DAMN I HATE planks. I just got over the stomach bug, this workout reminded me of that.

I wasn't going to prep anything for food for tomorrow since it was already 8pm. BUT then I reminded myself if I didnt then I would eat crap. SO quick egg casserole to the rescue - will add some avacado and salsa. YUM.

SAME POST, DIFFERENT YEAR

And here I am - many years later, coming back to the same blog an even bigger mess than I was before.

It was interesting. I decided I need to log things again and refound my old blog. It said I was 31, had a newborn girl at home and had my weight down to 170ish lbs. I was doing crossfit, training for my first triathlon and setting PRs on races like crazy.

AND THEN I WASN'T.

That newborn is in kindergarten. Im another 30 lbs heavier. I do not even remember doing crossfit. HATED triathlons and have bailed on every major race I have signed up for over the last two years because my training sucked.

BUT HERE I AM.

I am working on finding the balance. Finding a happy me, healthy me, stronger me while still being the working mom, the involved volunteering mom, the playful mom... not to mention the wife and dating my husband.

Somewhere the balance is found. Just need to find it, one day at a time.

And so here I am. Most of my post will be video post, its just easier. Even if I look a hot mess in those self made videos.

I HAVE MOVED....

please join me at http://christinasmarathon.blogspot.com/


A new journey - a new blog.

Remember this feeling...

Note to self - when you are needing a reminder of why you are doing what you are doing... please re-read this post. Book mark it. Do NOT forget this feeling. 


I am in a black hole of self pity and dispair. I feel disgusting yet I keep doing things that make me feel more disgusting. The last 4 weeks I have fallen further and further into a black hole. I have barely been active. I have talked poorly to myself. I have eaten anything and everything in sight whether I am hungry or not. And the scale is showing all of my hard work to sabatage myself. This morning I weighed in at 177.6. Holy crap.

I have a race coming up with my step mom - a half marathon. I am very behind in training. I was at the beach the last week with the kids and when my mom joined us I decided to get up for the 8 mile run I was due the week before.  It didnt happen like I wanted- I pulled something in my back the night before. I brought no water pack. I ate CRAP for days before and felt GROSS. I set my alarm for 5 am so I could be up and done before the kids were really up and moving. I had to be super quiet and get ready in the dark since I was sharing a bed with Gavin. The bed SUCKED and I barely slept the night before. When my alarm on my phone went off I layed there thinking "just go back to bed your sore and feel gross and wont be able to run anyways" and as I layed there I had an AHA moment. I was laying there and I could feel and hear my heart beating. I know this will sound weird but it sounded so sad. It sounded wounded. Hurt. Not loved or cared for. It was a hollow sad pitiful sound. I decided right then and there that I owe myself so much more. I owe myself love and care like I care for those that matter to me. I got my ass up and went out in the dark and ran. It was only 45 min but it was glorious.

While I was laying there listening to my heart cry out to me I thought of some of the reasons that I want to be healthier and sometimes I need to remind myself of these. They are so much more important than how a doughnut taste or icecream feels.

1. I hate how my body feels right now. I feel so gross in my own skin.

2. I hate feeling like a failure. I am so much stronger than this.

3. I want to fit into all of my clothes and not worry about something I already own not fitting.

4. I want my wedding band AND my engagement band to fit. I'm so proud of who I am married to and I want to show that off.

5. I want to show my children how to love who they are and right now I do not love myself at all.

6. I want to feel proud of myself.

7. I want to want to be in pictures with my kids. I do not get to remake these memories.

8. I want to feel attractive and want to allow my body to be seen and touched by my husband.

9. I do not want to feel like this anymore.

I need this all written out - I hope I am accurately showing how I feel. When I question myself I need to come back and read this. I do not want to be this person anymore.... its not who I am.

Sunday weigh in and a yucky run

Todays weigh in went as expected. 170.8 which means I lost one pound. Not surprised at all. I did AWESOME the first 3 days, bad day 4, so so day 5 and 6 and said fuck it day 7. So any loss I will take. Learn from this week and make better choices for the week to come.

I need to get moving on my training. I have been slacking big time. So this morning I set my alarm and got outside by 6am for a planned 5 mile run. I chose 6 am for two reasons. First it would be cooler. Second, my kids tend to wake up at 8ish so I could run, cool off, shower and have some down time before they wake up. HAHAHAHA. Yea right. First it was ridiculously humid this morning - felt like I was running through soup. Yuck. And secondly.... of course my baby girl was already talking in her crib when I got up this morning and was a screaming mess since when I got back from my run. Yippee.

And it was one of those runs that I cursed the first mile and then started playing games with myself on how far I was going to run. I hate when I do that. I ended at 4 miles today. Im happy its done.

And of course my boy is still sleeping and by the time he gets up Bre will be cranky and ready to go down. We have a busy day today - hubby wants to go out to breakfast (thank god my points restart today), visit his parents and we have a baseball game as a family to go to tonight.

Saturday :)

Good morning everyone!

After a day FULL of rain yesterday it seems like today will be a prettier day. Atleast its not raining yet! We will have a jam packed day as usual though. Gavin had a friend spend the night last night. My van needs dropped off to be detailed (yippeee), I need to get a longer run in today since my trail run got rained out, visiting the inlaws, ect ect ect.

Tomorrow is weigh in day. I had a rough point day 2 days ago that sent me for a whirlwind. I ended up eating 65 freaking points! OMG! But I claimed every bite. I was very proud of myself. Then was on point yesterday until the kids went to bed and then all went to hell. Big time. I am thinking I will not be seeing a loss this week :( We will see. Need to keep trucking.

some hope...

For the first time in probually almost a year I feel hopeful regarding my health and fitness. I feel in control again - FINALLY.

I made the plunge to jump back into weight watchers online. I have a work friend doing it too to hold me accountable and vise versa. My first weigh in on Sunday was 171.8.

This time around I have made myself a few promises.

First - honesty. NO LYING to myself... it doesnt work! If it goes in my mouth then I need to claim it! If I have a bad day I do NOT restart my points, I do NOT stop tracking for the week, I do NOT say screw it and eat everything in sight!

Second, no working the plan. When I did weight watchers last time I became a pro at working the system. I would barely eat any salt the day before a weigh in and tons of water. I would have a good weigh in and then binge when I left the scale. Back to the first promise... honesty, accountability.

Random thoughts...

Yes, NO post in months and months and now you get 2 within hours. Weird how that works.

Some random thoughts that are in my head....

1. It takes 50 bags of dried beans to fill a regular sized sandbox :) Bre will be shocked to see the newest addition to the back deck.

2. Crossfit keeps creaping into my mind. I cannot afford both cross fit and my current family gym membership and I love my gym. And I havent really been all that stellar in the workout department and keeping up with things latley. So I made a promise with myself. I found this awesome website with WOD.  If I get back into the training realm and start consistantly also including these WOD then I will buy myself a 3 month membership to our local crossfit studio. And then after 3 months make some hard decisions. I am giving myself until Aug 1st to prove I can stick with something.

3. I just re-read my post from last years Bird in Hand Half (HERE). What an amazing time that weekend was. BUT I think this year we will surpass it! First my step mom and my dad are flying in from Texas that weekend for a visit. Second, my step mom is running with me! Third I already booked a family suite and we are ready for a relaxed country amish weekend! SO SO SO excited!

4. Im procrasinating... Im supposed to be on the treadmill right now for 3 miles that is on the schedule. It feels so freaking awesome outside right now and Im totally bummed hubby is at work and I have to run inside. Blah.

No excuses...

Its amazing how difficult it is to get myself to post anything when Im not doing well on the diet and exercise front. Its as if I dont say anything then it doesnt really happen. My clothes dont really get tighter, my scale isnt  drastically going up and my body doesnt really feel like crud... the problem is all of those things are true. Whether I admit to them or not.

And to be honest I miss having somewhere to put out all the crazy thoughts that are going on in my head. So here I am several months later and about 5 lbs heavier.

I need to make a comeback. I need to feel good about myself and proud of myself again. I need to shove the mean girl down the freaking trash and take back ownership.

Im back.

what to post?

Ive come to post things atleast 4 times this week and half way through each one I x it all out and leave. Nothing seems right. Either my post is a bit to personal and I dont want to deal with the repercussions of people I really "know" reading it or it seems a bit whiny and full of complaining and with the events happenning in Boston and Texas ... it felt pretty stupid.

So instead I have posted nothing.

And I still have no clue what to write.

• Im stuck in a rut right now with my eating - I have been struggling to make better choices. 
• I ROCKED 11 miles in the rain this week for my long run! 
• Im looking forward to taper week! 
• I have SOOOOOO much to do in the next few days. I have to get ready for a big meeting at work, need to get my house in gear, buy ALL my summer clothes and get ready for our trip. Stressing a bit.