In a funk

I am in a funk today and am having a problem shaking it.

Started off with a 3 am feeding which we havent had in months. I am not a wake up in the middle of the night person so I was pretty tired this morning. I was cranky with the five year old for no reason before school this morning. I forced myself to the gym thinking a sweat session spin class would help the mood. Nope. I had to force myself through the entire thing. Took a nap with baby girl thinking that would help but NOPE - she is still down, Im up and showered and still a cranky ass.

anxiety

First off, a little pat on my back. I am doing FREAKING AWESOME! I have started to log onto myfitnesspal.com  daily with my food and workouts. (friend me - chrissyrn04). I have stayed within my calories. I have made smart choices. It feels good.

Yesterdays planned 6 miles outside turned into a late night attempt on the treadmill which turned into a crappy 4 miles. So today I went to the gym and knocked out the 6 miles on a treadmill. I get SOOOO bored on a treadmill that I have to mix it up. Today it was -
Mile 1 and 2 - Start running at 5.2 and increase by 0.1 every song with a full out sprint the last 0.2 of each mile.
Mile 3 - Increase speed by 0.1 every 30 seconds.
Mile 4 - Steady run at 5.4mph
Mile 5 - 2 minutes at a comfy 5.2, 1 min at a full out sprint at 8.5mph
Mile 6 - steady run at 5.4.

It helps. I would much rather be outside.

Anyways about the anxiety. In two weeks we go on our annual family vacation to the outerbanks with my husbands side of the family. I am VERY much looking forward to it. But the last few years I have eaten like a pig and drank like a fish. HUGE breakfast, lunch, big dinners, super yummy desserts with lots of extra helpings, midnight snacks and lots and lots of drinks. Its bad. Really bad.

I know I wont be able to refrain from some of that and I worry that I will binge and say fuck it and eat and eat and eat.

I am making a list of things Im going to aim for.
1. Im logging EVERYTHING I eat on here - even if its a day I give in to EVERYTHING. Every bite gets logged. 
2. Im running a half marathon the week after I get back so I will be still needing to get my runs in and plan to bring my insanity videos with me for a daily workout. 
3. Im not a huge breakfast person and really dont NEED the pancakes and what not so while I may have breakfast one day with everyone, I think the rest of the days I will make my basic breakfast that I eat at home all the time. 
4. I plan to roast a whole bunch of veggies and a speghetti squash on day one to have as half my plate for dinners - the rest of the plate I can enjoy what everyone else is having. 
5. I am in love with the 20 sec sugar free flour free mug choc cake. Im bringing all of that stuff and will have that with fruit some of the nights while everyone else is having what they are having so I dont feel left out. 
6. No soda. 


Any other suggestions thoughts concerns???

taking back over my body

I have let this stupid cold/allergies run things for the past week but Im taking back over today! Im over feeling like crud. For the most part I can breath. The coughing is only horrible at night (last night I was up until 230am coughing)

I have the next four days off and I REFUSE to let them go by and continue to feel like I have been.

So Im making my to do list for the next few days. I logged on and reserved my daycare time at the gym.

IM IN CONTROL THIS WEEK!!!!!

This is my week, I own it and I am going to rock it! This past week I have lost 4.5 lbs - Im not letting that go to waste and keeping it going!

Todays to do list -
1. Run 6 miles during baby girls nap time
2. clean my bathroom - its gross
3. plan the meals for the week and go grocery shopping

This weeks workout goals
Today - run 6 miles on the treadmill :(  (no other choice) , insanity tonight
Tomorrow - morning spin, afternoon insanity
Wed - morning spin, 3 mile run
Thur - 12 mile run

Yes its alittle ambitious but the definates - I HAVE to get in 6 miles today, spin tomorrow and the 12 miler... everything else will be bonus!