its just food...

Yes those words came out of my mouth today ... "its just food".

Let me back up a few days.

Thursday was my birthday. I started the day off at the gym. I very much wanted yummy pizza from my favorite pizza place. For breakfast and lunch I stayed on target. For dinner we went out to eat - I had one mozzerella stick, 2 fried cocunut shrimp and 2 small slices of pizza. I wanted dessert but didnt want extra dessert in my house so we went to a yummy cupcake place and I had an awesome cupcake. Did I feel bad about it? NOPE.

Friday I had plans for dinner and a movie with my best friend. I again started the morning off at the gym. I stayed on track breakfast lunch and snacks. Then we went to sushi and yes I had 2 crab wontons. And at the movie I did have a full box of milk duds. Feel bad? Not really. Yes I didnt need half of that. BUT normally I would have said

• Your going to eat bad so why go to the gym?
• Your going out to eat so might as well have this piece of candy/cookie/fruit snacks ect.
• Your going out to eat - might as well have a soda or a margarita (or 2 or 3)

But I didnt.  I acknowledged I was going off plan. I knew I wasnt going to track. Yes I will probually gain weight this week BUT in the grand scheme of things its only 2 days. Im still going to weigh in. Im still choosing to exercise, ect. It will be ok. That is a HUGE step for me.

Ok fast forward to today. I have to work 12 hour shifts all weekend - bummer. I packed my lunch, dinner and snacks. I packed my water bottle. BUT old habits die hard. I thought about food from 7am on. I told myself "well you screwed up this week already might as well stop and get McD's on way to work, a latte from starbucks (venti), candy from the gift shop, waste my packed lunch and get a grilled cheese and fries" I thought about it ALL day. But did I do it? NOPE. I told my friend at work that I was NOT allowed to go buy food so she made sure to eat lunch with me. When I went to get my evening 5pm coffee I only took just enough to buy the coffee, nothing else. When I wanted to hit the vending machine on the way out I made a point to walk out with my doc so I wouldnt be tempted to stray to the machines. When I got home from work I thought about the mouth watering yummy left over pizza... instead I made some egg whites and an english muffin.

And when I was walking for that evening coffee and thinking about all the stuff I wanted and couldnt have because Im on this stupid diet and I cant eat anything... blah blah blah... I then told myself (out loud... yes I probually looked crazy) ...
ITS JUST FOOD.... thats it. Just food. I wont remember what I didnt get to eat today next year. I wont wish I had eaten that last bite of bad for me food. And you know what? My healthy stuff I packed ... TASTE AWESOME. So what am I missing? NOTHING... besides some guilt!