First a kudoo's to me - today I ran for an hour straight for the first time since before baby. I timed the first 5k since I have a February goal and needed to see what I could do. My goal is less than 34 minutes, my time today 35:38... not to shabby! The rest of the hour was filled with hill repeats and some speed work. I was a HOT sweaty mess and it was AWESOME! Expecially since I wasnt really in the mood to hit the gym or run today.
Ok now for todays thoughts...
I have a tendancy to think everyone is thinking bad things about me - that Im fat, boring, lazy, a bad mom, ect. Im sure alot of you can relate.
Anyways I ran to the grocery store today before hubby left for work so I wouldnt have to take both kids with me. We needed milk but I also picked up a few bags of spinach, cottage cheese, bananas, a cantalope, and some chicken breast. I was in line to pay and the women in front of me looked at my food on the belt, then looked me up and down and I swear with a rude voice said "ahhh arent we the healthy one". I didnt say anything. But after the fact I wondered if I miss viewed this. Was it...
1. Her looking at me and seeing the healthy food and realizing that to still be my size (174.5 lbs on my scale this morning) that I must be sneaking fast food left and right.
2. Was secretly jealous that I was buying way healthier food than she was with her cake, icecream and chicken wings.
or
3. Was giving me a complement and really meant "you go girl being healthy!"
Of course I took it as number 1 and it put me in a fowl mood to where I wanted to yell at an old lady that stopped right in front of me on the way out to where I almost hit her with my cart and made me want to eat junk tonight. I havent ... I have eaten VERY well this week, tonight included. But what if she really meant number 3 and Im so focused on being seen in a negative light that I miss when people are actually being nice, supportive and helpful.
And on another note - tomorrow is weigh in. Fingers crossed. Im expecting a good weigh in although Im already expecting a gain next week (its by bday).
she probably felt 'convicted'. lol. in baptist terms...it's when one projects ones own deficiencies and decides that merely by acting another person is judging. You should have said...yes, we are. lol. Good for you. great choices. Glad you didn't cave.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the hour of running! That's a biggie.
ReplyDeleteAs for the comment, who knows. Different people, different ideas floating through their heads. The point is, it should not matter what a stranger thinks or says. She does not know your story, she has no right to judge you. Whatever she was thinking, it's her problem, not yours. Easier said then done, I know, but for me that's the attitude to strive for.
YEP YEP Im with christine.
ReplyDeleteand would probably have said nothing ---but wished Id responded as she suggested :)
Miz.