Day 7 is proving to be more of a struggle than Day 6.
Last night baby girl had her first stuffy nose and NO ONE got to sleep. She would only sleep if I was holding her so I cat napped in the rocker. I might have gotten 2 hours total of sleep and at 530 brought her to bed with me for maybe another hour. I woke up with a binky indentation on my chest. Fun. Today hasnt been much better either. Its 1pm and she has yet to nap. She freaks out, cries, more snot, more stuffed up and it goes round and round. I am one TIRED momma!
Not to mention OF COURSE its that time of the month. WTH!?!?! And it appears I am very emotional. I was at the grocery store this morning to get the stuff to make my first bone broth (in crock pot now) and homemade mayo (waiting for room temp eggs) and was in line to check out - there was a magazine of fall pies and I just wanted to sit on the ground and cry and look at the pics and the entire time felt so sorry for myself that I will never be able to just eat whatever I want. I want PIE. I want pumpkin bread. I want Halloween candy. I want a caramel apple with nuts. I want a rich hot chocolate with marshmellows.
I think I am in mourning!
I was reading a greek philospher the other day named epictetus...He stated we only get very upset at things we deem 'unfair'. I think you have dubbed the idea of watching what you eat and exercising 'unfair'. Anyone who has dieted has had a similar feeling at some point. Now unfair according to what standard? The thing is, You CAN eat whatever you want WHENEVER you want. However, at some point you decided that eating whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted was not getting you the body or life you wanted. No one can eat whatever they want whenever they want and look decent. No one. It's a myth. It's something I used to tell myself..."well, look at her! She is having pie"...guess what, she probably ate an egg white scramble for break fast..a vegan wrap for lunch and watercress for dinner to make way for her piece of pie. Just remember, it's just food. You can have each on the these things ...one per day if you wish. You just can't have all of them and attain what you say you want more. Fitness and health. So, today..eat healthfully...then get a small piece of pumpkin bread and eat it. Tomorrow...eat healthfully all day...make room..have a cup of hot chocolate and drink. And I know you know all this..sometimes it's good to hear it from a voice outside our own head. You don't want it more than you want health...or you would have shoveled all that sh*t in your piehole...the next time the feeling becomes overwhelming, just take some duct tape and stick the desired item on your rear....as a reminder of where it will end up...after that, if you still want to eat it..peel it off and eat it...I somehow think it will have lost it's allure. lol.
ReplyDeleteExhaustion breeds meltdowns (for me!!)The more exhausted I am, the more emotional I become!! and then I give in!!!
ReplyDeleteNew to your blog.
ReplyDeleteI hope the baby feels better soon!:)
HI, I am new to your blog too! Hopefully you and your little girl feel better now! Exhaustion and PMS, it doesn't get worse than that! Just don't beat yourself up, there will be another good day around the corner :)
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