seriously annoyed ...

This is 100% not weight loss related but I wanted to vent.

I had a dream about an exboyfriend a few nights ago. He is newly married and I couldnt be happier for him. I emailed him to laugh about the silly 70s aerobics dream I had staring some of our old gang and asked how he was doing, asked about how married life was, if they were planning for kids, work, family, ect. I filled him in on graduating from graduate school, my step mom who is doing triathalons after not being active in years and my adorable 4 year old and our hopeful plans for another child next year.

The email I get back from him...

Please do not email me anymore.
My wife reads my emails on occasion and we've been fighting about this one.
Not your fault, but I cannot speak to or correspond with you anymore.
Good luck with everything.

Seriously?!? I could see if I was flirting with him or something - of which I was 100% NOT. We live 1200 miles away from each other. What is wrong with an occational email? I have to tell you - my feelings are hurt. Im actually shocked by how much my feelings are hurt. I know this has NOTHING to do with me, and I have no clue what kind of relationship they have but still.

Out of shape? Day 1 of 30.

Wow I feel so out of shape!

Please someone explain to me how I can run 7 miles and enjoy every minute of it, keep my breathing stable and feel like I could have even done more but one 20-min video completely kicks my butt?!?

I just completed day one of the Jillian 30 day shred. Its a 20 min video. 3 minutes strength, 2 min cardio, 1 min abs x3. My heart was pounding, I actually sweated a ton, and now that Im done my arms and legs feel like jello. Seriously! When I lift my arms up they shake.

I tried this video once before and only once. I was so incredibly sore the next day. Curious if that is going to happen again - we will see tomarrow I guess. But regardless how I feel, I have decided that I need to give this video 30 days - kind of like an ease into P90X since it scares the crap out of me!

SO I will be adding 30 day shred daily to my regular workout regimine. Its only 20 min - I can do 20 min! Im tough... :)

The other thing I have decided is that I really really really want to add swimming into my workout mix but since I dont really know how to swim competitively then I really need to work on that... so I have a week off in Sept and I have decided to take some swim classes... so excited, nevous for looking like an adult idiot but still so excited!

So my workout agenda this week -

Today (monday) - 30 day shred, something else but dont know what yet
tues - early morning 3-4 mile run, video
wed - super early spin class, video
Thur- 8 mile run, video
Fri - spin class, video
Sat - video

busy busy! Eating is doing well - no plans for any outings to ruin things... I dont do well out.

woohoo

I have tons to write but I need to get ready for work so I promise a long post tonight... just wanted to share though...

159!

I finally broke 160... finally!

8/26/10

Food Journal

Breakfast
Peanut butter and jelly english muffin - 4 points

12 hour work shift - 11 points total
6 triscuts - 2 points
grapes 1 point
spicy blackbean burger/cheese/wheat thin - 4 points
pretzels - 2 points
granola bar - 2 points

Dinner
Goat cheese thin pizza with veggies - 5 points

total so far at 9pm 20 points... 6 points left for a snack

Workout - nada ... I know I suck!

Think big,

think smart,

think positive,

think beautiful,

think great!

Im back ... and Im back!

Spent two fabulous days with my two favorite men in the entire world... my husband of 8 years Eric and my all grown up newly 4 year old Gavin. We went to dutch wonderland, stayed at a cool hotel, swam WAY past his bedtime, saw a sneak peak of Thomas the train at the train station and ended our birthday celebration with a small cookout and bonfire just the three of us... here are a few pics of our trip...








And No I did NOT eat healthy or good while I was gone... Im weak. But within 2 hours of being home I was out the door for a 7.2 mile run... thought it was longer but drove it afterwards and confirmed 7.2. It was a great run having not ran since the 10K last weekend. Very hilly.

I also got my workout videos back while I was gone and will be starting the Jillian 30day shred again in the am. Friday is a ME day... very very excited! Massages, lunch out, new running shoes shopping with a great friend... and we are being good and starting the day with a 7 mile run!

Food journal starts tomarrow - promise!

MIA

I will be MIA for 2 days - spending some family time with my amazing family for my babys 4th birthday. I will be back with food journals and exercise info ready.

6 week challange...

Starting tomarrow - Monday August 23rd - I will be starting a 6 week challange. As you have read the past week or so... I need some mojo. Hopefully this will help.

So for the next 6 weeks...
1. I will be posting my food journal daily - every bite!
2. I will post my weekly workout plan and then what actually happens
3. I will be taking my measurements every 2 weeks.

I will GET OUT OF this 160 slump!

Starting Measurements
Weight 162lb
Waist 36in
Hip 41in
Chest 40in
Left arm 12.5in
Right arm 12 in
Left thigh 25in
Right thigh 25in

If you want some extra support and the push of a challange then join me...
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=112067598847211&index=1

another week at 160...

I have been between 160 and 163 for WEEKS now. Its getting OLD. And it is 100% my fault! I cant seem to get my eating undercontrol. Im working out great but that isnt enough. I start off eating well. I pack healthy options. I cook healthy meals but EVERY single week something big comes up and it derales me and it takes me a day or so to recover and then I stay the same weight AGAIN. Vacations, parties, trips... they just keep happenning. THis week we are going out of town for 2 days for G's bday party and friday Im having a girls day.

So this week Im destined to be the same weight AGAIN... I can plan well but it just doesnt happen how I plan.

So this week I am aiming to eat great on the days that I am working. I am packing lunch and snacks for our trip to Dutch Wonderland and will make healthy eating out options. There will be one dinner, one breakfast and one lunch eaten out. uhhhhh.
Friday is lunch out with a friend for part of our girls day - we are having sushi.

Now getting my workouts in this week will not be as easy as it normally is. E is on dayshift so no early morning runs or spin classes since I will have to be here with Gavin. I also need to get in 2 runs with one being 7 miles. Here is my goals

Sunday (today) - video and weights
Monday - 60 min on treadmill BLAHHH
Tuesday - early morning 3 mile run
Wed - weights
Thur - video or elliptical
Friday - 7 mile run
Sat - nada

Yes I have motivation but not nearly what I had - I need some mojo.

10K baby!

Today was the day of the 10k... the first 10k.

So the good -
1. Ran it with my favorite running person - Nicole!
2. Got to see what I can do!
3. Beat my personal best of 72min... finished in 64!
4. Felt like I could have gone farther, given more!
5. We got alot of positive comments on our shirts and chatted with some great people. Everyone was very nice.

The bad -
1. Did not like the route - it was BORING. Not much to see and it was a double of the 5k route so had to do the boring route twice.
2. It was a small race... I like the bigger crowd.
3. There were practically NO spectators on the sidelines to cheer you on.
4. They didnt make sure they save cold water/snacks for those running the 10K - there was NOTHING left after the 5k people were done so when we finished I couldnt even fill up my water bottle and god forbid a snack. Very disappointing.
5. It was the RAVEN romp but hardly any RAVENness to it except the two ridiculously small wasted cheerleaders that didnt even freaking cheer.
6. I think I could have pushed myself harder.
7. My family wasnt there :(

Now for the pics...

Nicole and I before the race started...


The back of our adorable shirts -



Us turning that last turn - mile 6 baby!


Almost done!



Sweaty, done but still smiling!

busy weekend...

Its almost 6am on Saturday. Im about to start the hour drive to Fort Meade for my first 10K.... so so so excited! I really hope Nicole and I rock it. I will post tons of pics tonight, promise!

This afternoon we are going to go see daddy at work - we havent been to the police station yet... equally excited!

Tomarrow I got suckered into working a few hours on my day off - booooo, but I love my job.

Then that goes into a busy week - working 3 days, going away for G's bday for 2. I cant believe my little boy will be 4!

faith and sweat

I have had an interesting morning.

I planned last night that this morning I would go to the super early 545am spin class before work. I packed my work clothes, gym clothes, shower stuff, and my lunch for work. I went to bed at a decent time and set my alarm for 5am.

Then I woke up. I didnt want to go to the gym. I wanted to go back to bed.

BUT I decided to get moving anyways and ate an english muffin with some peanut butter (my go to preworkout meal) and I put my workout clothes on.

And I still didnt want to go. I needed to leave by 530 to be there in time for the start of class. At 520 I was still wavering back and forth on if I was going or if I was going to go back to bed for an hour.

SO then I had the bright idea that I should flip a coin. Heads I go to the gym, tails I go back to bed. I got as far as walking over to the change bowl to get a quarter. Then it hit me...

REALLY?!? Im going to put my hard work and future on the luck of a coin. Heads I work out, start my day off right, follow through on what I plan, eat well, train for my half marathon, do right by me. Tails I go back to bed, binge all day, stop running, give up. Would I really flip a coin to decide if I should give up. Would I take away the impressive hard work that I have already put into me and put my future in the hands of luck? My weight loss has NOTHING to do with luck. It has everything to do with perserverence and hard work! So needless to say I took my sleepy butt straight to the car and headed to the gym for a rocking spin sweaty spin class.

I showered and was dressed and still had 45 min before I had to be at work - normally I wouldg go hang out at Starbucks, see if Sandi was working then get to work early. BUT I realized I left my damn lunch in the fridge. I thought for about 1/2 a second to "hope" that work had good options and that I wouldnt over do things. But the hope of that went away when my memory kicked in of the last time I forgot my lunch. It means no healthy mid meal snacks so Im starved by lunch picking bad options and eating too much portion wise and needing a afternoon snack that typically involved a muffin or something. My house is 10 min left of the gym, work is 10 min right of the gym... so I hauled butt to get home, get my lunch, drive to work, stop for a quick coffee and still got to work with 1 min to spare! WOOHOO me!

NOW... to the title of this post (and thanks for reading ALL of this from there to here)... on the way from the gym to work there was a country song "Love like crazy" by Lee Price that seriously spoke to me. No the song isnt about weight loss or reaching goals but there are a few lines that made me have a major AHAAA moment expecially with the struggle I had with trying to flip a coin to decide my health.

"Just ask him how he made it,
He'll tell you faith and sweat"

I am not a religious person, just isnt who I am. BUT there are many different kinds of "faith". I need to have faith in myself most of all. I need to trust myself and alittle hard work "sweat" isnt going to hurt me... its needed to make it to where I want to be.

"Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you"

I need to be a friend first and foremost to myself. I need to give myself the same allowences and respect that I give those I care about. I need to not try to lie to myself but be truthful and I need to realize that I am worth love and worth giving love... not only to those around me but to myself aswell. And the best way I can tell my husband and child that I love them is to make me the best me I can be.


Sorry this is so long but I had some major moments this morning that I really wanted to get typed out... I have been waiting my entire 12 hours of working to get home to post this. Hope everyone had a great day!

crappy day

So while I enjoyed my day - my last day before work spending it with my little man the entire day.

I gave in to the crappy feelings and tiredness of the day. I didnt work out at all. I have NOT eaten well - I have snacked and snacked and snacked some more after G went to bed tonight. Calories I did not need.

Tomarrow is another day - wow I have been saying that alot lately.

I have already packed my lunch for tomarrow. Im getting up to go for a run in the am in my cute new running shorts I bought today. Not a long run since my 10K is saturday and I work tomarrow but atleast 3 miles.

I decided to cute my points as if I am already 159... so now Im down to 25 points a day. I have to make better use of them.

I am not letting this week take over me - I am taking over this week!

not feeling it

I am so not feeling it today.

I just woke up after not sleeping very well last night. At 1 this morning I woke up to find Eric still not home from work (life of being married to a police officer).... I dont sleep well not knowing when he will get home. Then this morning he had court so our alarm was going off 5 million times super early this morning. All equals not a great nights sleep.

So Im feeling a bit tired. Im also alittle sore from the 6 mile run yesterday. And Im trying really hard to talk myself out of going to the gym at 915...

blahhhh

I soooo didnt need the mexican food I had for dinner. I could have made better choices. I could have eaten less... Im stuffed and my belly hurts!

Tomarrow is a new day.
Tomarrow is a new day.
Tomarrow is a new day.

unofficial 10K

This morning I met up with Nicole and ran the 6.2 mile practice 10k... did a great job - 72 minutes and felt strong the entire run.

I also got my shirt we had made for the event next weekend. You will have to wait and see them. They are cute! I ran in it today - felt great. Granted it started to rain our last 10 min or so. Coffee and chatting afterwards was just what I needed - thanks Nicole!

Todays run was minus ipod - I am shocked to say I prefer this MUCH more. I can pay better attention to my breathing and actual talked a bit during the run.

Im having a empty belly day - I have felt like Im starving since this morning. I am trying to watch what I put in my mouth and not give in too much but I feel like Im starving! It doesnt help that its a rainy cloudy yucking sunday!

I will be going over my points for the day though - I only have 13 left and its only 3pm and will be eating dinner away from home today.

This weeks workout plan -
Monday - spin class and weights
Tuesday - rest
Wednesday - early morning spin class
Thur - lite 3-4 mile run
Friday - rest
Sat 10K baby!
Sunday weights

Off to decorate a babys room!

Niagara Falls

Sorry I have been MIA... hubby and I got back from a little couples reconnecting trip to Niagara Falls. It was much over do and we highly enjoyed ourselves.

I got two workouts in on the four days that we were there. I didnt go overboard in the eating department. Still gained 2 lbs while gone but could have been much worse. It was all of the wine!

Here are some pics of my trip...

Here is the view from our hotel room the first two nights (the third night we went to Niagara on the lakes... much more adult friendly and relaxing!)





Here is the first morning we were there - 630 am and Im up for my first of two runs during the 4 days we were gone. Hubby PROMISED me he would get up and run with me both days - our first official run together, but both mornings he bailed and wouldnt get out of bed. This is the morning after being pretty drunk the night before... but best way to sweat out a hangover! I ran 4 miles this day and 5 miles my second run. Both runs were without music ... shocker, I liked it!



Here I am all dressed up for our second night out. Wasnt having the best hair day but not to shabby I dont think! Its amazing how much happier I am to be in front of the camera minus 40 odd pounds!



I have way more pics - but it takes forever to load them on here so this is all you are getting right now - sorry! I loved the butterfly conservatory and the buddist temple we went to. Have some grainy but fun pics of us all wet next to the falls.

We highly enjoyed Niagara on the lakes - what a cute little town.

Loved the vineyards. Wasnt a huge fan of Ice Wine though - way too sweet for me and I really like sweet!

Missed our little man like crazy and he has been up my butt all day since we have been back.

Today was a FULL day of getting back into the swing of things. CLEANING my house like crazy. Spending WAY too much money at the grocery store. No workout today. Long run in the am with Nicole.

Bye for now!

so much fun!

I just tried on a whole bunch of clothes to figure out what Im wearing for our trip. It is SO much more fun trying on clothes now!

Some of the dresses that were semi tight on me in my "thinner" years are now LOOSE. Its freaking awesome!

Day 7/10...

Today is my official saturday weekly weigh in... 160.5... down 3 lbs! woohoo! Need one more lb to hit my 4 pound 10 day goal... 3 days, 1 pound .. I can totally do it!

Had a great 5.5 mile run after work yesterday. NOw up and off to work again :(

A preparing kind of day...

I have gotten so much done today! Today is my only day off before working 4 days (48hours)and then heading straight to Niagara falls. So today was a last minute day to get things done.

I had a doctors appointment today for a follow up on my antidepressant. When she listened to my heart she was alittle concerned that it sounded "alittle funny" - not what you want to hear when you worked in an open heart ICU for 6 years! So they did an EKG - Im way way too young to need an EKG! I had a PAC here and there but nothing major. The surprising thing was my heart rate. My resting heart rate 4 months ago was between 80-90... pretty high. My heart rate was 62. We are assuming its from the running and weight loss. But wow. I have to go back in a month and be rechecked just to make sure.

After the doctors I went to kohls and treated myself to some lingere, new bras and some thongs... wow Im getting brave! But way more awesome... I officially 100% fit into a size 10... bought my first pair of size 10 pants :) awesome!

On the way home I stopped at the farm stand and got tons of veggies and fruit and I just cooked up a storm! I sauted onions, green peppers and ground turkey and made taco meat for dinner tonight. I also cooked fresh green beans, green pepper, onion, garlic, zucchini and squash and mixed them with some steamed brown rice for the next four days. I also made some fresh salsa and cut up a huge very juicy cantalope! So food is ready for the 4 days that Im working like crazy. I wont have to rely on hospital food.

Still need to get my workout in today... but it will happen.

I really want to take a nap but I know that it will suck for sleeping tonight.

So so so tired...

But not giving in to it! I was so incredibly close to saying that Im not getting up early and working out before work ... but I realized there is no real reason not to. Yes Im sore, yes Im tired but I can suck it up and keep moving. Im sore but cycling uses different muscles. Im tired so I can go to bed early.

So everything is ready to go. My lunch is packed. My gym bag and work stuff is not only packed but already in the car!

Today had great moments and so so great moments. No real horrible ones though. My run didnt turn out as great as I would have liked but it was hot and yucky out but we tackled some major hills. Mountains practically!

On an awesome note - I went shopping today. Almost didnt find anything but at the last store found my dress... you will have to wait to see it though :) Thats not the awesome part though. I went to Macy's and had them measure me for bras. In January I wore a 42DDD... today I was a 38D... she said I was actually a 37 but they dont make that so I may be a 36 soon and she said I was really close to being a C...OMG I dont think I have been a C since 8th grade!

Day 4/10 and August Measurements

I am so freaking tired this morning. And sore, but mainly tired.

We signed G up for 15 months of Karate... omg he better love it! Now between the three of us we spend about $400/month on exercise! crazy! But we are an active family! Sucks that we all go somewhere different though.

Today Im calling a sports doctor about my knee and Erics elbow. We are falling apart in our old age.

I forgot to do my measurements two days ago. Happy with the results.
Chest - for the month I was down 0.5inches, overall 6 inches since january.
Abdomen - down 1.5 inches for the month, 7.5 inches overall
Hips - down 1.5 inches for the montha and 6.5 inches overall.

woohoo!

Day four of 5 will be a good day!

In about an hour Im dropping G off at camp and hopefully I will come home and clean, I really really need to! Then after camp its lunch out with Rach and some shopping for new clothes for ME :) I always make her eat at Panera Bread so today is her choice and I will just have to make a smart decision. This afternoon is a LONG HILLY HILLY HILLY run with Nicole.

Ok of to make breakfast - here is to a good day!

challange day 3/10

So far a great day.

I got up and went to spin class after dropping G off to his first day of daycamp. The class is supposed to be 45 min - she did 60... thought I was going to die but it was a great workout.

Home now to take a shower, say hi to all of you and go get G from camp. We have a busy day planned - we are meeting friends at Panera Bread for lunch, then coming home to clean my bathrooms while G is napping (fun fun) then G has his first day karate tonight - he is so so so excited!

Food is going well today -

Here is my plan for the day
Breakfast 1 lite english muffin with 1 tbsp peanut butter 3 points
snack 6 triscuts 2 points
lunch salad with no dressing, cup of soup, apple 7 points
snack carrots and hummus 1 point
dinner pasta with chicken, veggies and goat cheese 6 points
That leaves 7 points for in between, increasing serving size or a nite snack!

Todays weigh in was 162... so down 2 on day 3... not sure how accurate that is. We will see if it sticks tomarrow.

Im also going to start looking into seeing a sports doctor or therapist about my right knee. Im having some pain after running. I dont want it to get worse and side line my running. I have found some IT band stretches and strengthening stuff that Im starting and Im focusing alot more on cross training to see if it helps. I will also be icing and elevating it after my runs from now on. Anyone deal with this before? THe pain is right on my knee cap and the muscles right before my knee starts.

Day 2/10 of the 4 pound challange...

Day 2/10 has gone well.

Its 940pm and I still have 4 points left for the day. I have drank water water and some more water today. I worked out after work running 5.8 miles.

Yaaa me!