need to get my crap together...

Its been a rough week eating wise - had my sons birthday, his nonparty since we got rained out but still had all the food, and various other things. I know to be successful I have to be able to deal with these things but obviously Im not there yet. As of this morning I am up 1.6 lbs this week. Tomorrow is officially my weigh in day.

I started a private weight loss support group on fb... it has been live alittle over a week. Tomorrow is their weigh in too... how incredibly embarrassing that the first full week of the group and the group maker gains weight. What an example huh?

I vow to make a better effort. I am so much stronger than this. I decided not to run the marathon in Nov and instead focus on being healthy... lets not make that a bad decision. Lets prove to myself it was the right thing to do. And vacation in Nov at goal weight would feel so so so good!

bye bye marathon...

So I have officially decided to not run the Philadelphia marathon. I have canceled hotel plans and everything. My heart just isnt in it and that is just asking for an injury to happen. Was I a little too optimistic going into marathon training 6 months postpartum? Probually. But this is where we are now.

So where are we?

In two weeks I run the Bird in Hand Half Marathon (totally 100% excited about the entire weekend!) and then what? Well of course I have that planned out too... I am a massive planner after all. And I am very excited about my "plan". I plan to back off to 5-7 miles twice a week, sometimes adding some speed work. Then fill the rest of the week up with spin, body pump, yoga, insanity with hubby and maybe even getting a trainer again and try to learn to really swim (and breathe). Im going to focus on the activities I enjoy. Im going to focus on getting leaner, stronger, healthier.

I feel 100% confident in my decision. Im not QUITTING any thing - Im re-prioritizing life.

bullet points and a crap load of pics :)

I would say sorry again for the time between post but to be honest Im not really sorry. I have been busy and my attention has been elsewhere. It is what it is. I have tons to say so we are going to get to the bullet point

My 5k virgin group is going STRONG. We are up at 20 gals! I am so so so proud of them. I have a few in week 7, but the majority in week 3. They inspired me to start another group on facebook - a weight loss support group of people I know. That is up to 20 people too but not the same 20. My dad and step mom are even in that group! This past wednesday was our first weigh in. I weighed in at 166.2. I was pretty happy about that seeing as I have been off track lately. I also took new pics. YUCK. Granted I hadnt showered and am CRANKY (get to that in a minute) so these are not even remotely flattering.

Marathon training is NOT going well. This week is a 14 miler week. Its not that the long runs are too hard. I rocked 13 miles last week. Instead, I have lost my mojo. I have NO desire to get out for those longer runs. I dread it all week. I love running still - anything 90 min and below. Love speed work. Love hill work. Love meeting with my 5k group and helping them. But these longer marathon training run days I am NOT digging. I am seriously considering canceling doing the Phili marathon and stick to just a few halfs this fall. I am torn though. I KNOW thats what I WANT to do, but I am worried that I will be mad at myself and feel like a quitter. Im not a quitter. I need a crystal ball. I would just cut back to the half in Phili but I know being there I will wish I did the full and be mad, plus this is an expensive traveling race for me and just dont think its worth the $500 for just the hotel if Im only doing the half. For now I have decided to take a week off of training and run for enjoyment. Next week I will rethink about it. I have another half coming up Sept 8th.

Im super excited about the half coming up. Im running the bird in hand half marathon in amish country. Amish kids giving water out at the tables, huge family bon fire the night before, hot air balloons, Gavins first kid run. Im super excited!

Today is my little mans 6th birthday. It feels like JUST yesterday he looked like this...wow I dont have a baby baby pic of him saved on my computer. Oh yea this computer is from when he was 2. Well these are a few of my favorite pics over the years...not in order it appears... sorry I suck :)

preschool graduation

4 year old birthday trip to Dutch Wonderland

3 years old

3 years old

8 months old

This summer

2 years old - christmas

Man oh man I cant believe its been 6 years already. It feels like he was JUST a baby. Im waiting patiently for him to wake up. I surprised him by placing balloons on his door to fall into his room once he opens it.

It will be a busy fun few days - spending the day with him today and getting ready for his party tomorrow. Pool party with giant inflatable water slide tomorrow. And he starts first grade on Monday.

Oh and since Im in a picture mood - cant for get the newest bean in the family... she is a crawling fool! I am one lucky momma!

MIA yes but no

I know Im not posting nearly as much as I usually do but that doesnt mean that Im not still trucking along. My schedule is PACKED to the MAX and something has to let up and unfortinatly more often than not its this blog. Between working full time, training for a marathon, cross training like a crazy person (I love too many things to pick just 1 or 2) and now training my group of 5k virgins... not to mention trying to be present and active in my childrens life, keep up with the current book club book and what not... I am one BUSY momma!

For example - today is an off work day. I got up at 530 am and got in my 13 mile long run of the week. Came home and made breakfast and took the kids outside to play. Laundry and cleaning up the house a bit. Plan to nap when the baby does today. Need to run some household errands, visit with my best friend from high school that is in town, do some reading and writing work with little man, track training session this evening and Gavin is having a sleep over.

Not to make excuses but Im busy :)

Today run felt great - I listened to some podcast from Another Mother Runner... awesome!  Im excited about tonights track meet up. Curious how it will go with 3 different levels of runners in various training weeks but we will make due. So excited for them all to meet each other!

And I am already looking at spring races :) Thinking about heading to Texas in April to do a half and have an excuse to visit my dad with the kids :)

Until next time....

yoga and a major 5k!

I have officially finally tried Yoga. And guess what... I loved it! I am still shocked that I liked it at all let alone loved it and cannot wait to go again! I am NOT flexible. I have NO balance. I HATE trying new things when  Im the only one that doesnt know what I am doing. But in te last few months I have tried a lot of new classes and wanted to see what all this Yoga was about. My gym offers a mixed mode yoga called Yoga flex. The teacher was inviting and made sure I knew what they were doing every step of the way. The mood in the room was so tranquil. The music was relaxing. And about 55 minutes into it we had the most relaxing enjoyable stretching cool down. I am a cardio girl through and through. I like to sweat. I like to get my heart rate up. But after all of my running, all of the spin and hard core cardio classes... this was such a nice treat. I felt so happy leaving the gym today. This needs to go into weekly rotation.

And I have something so awesome to share... a week ago a mom in my playgroup asked if I would help her get to 5k shape and help lose the baby weight. I felt so honored that someone would think of me as a "fit" person and a runner even when I do not feel that way sometimes. She is a nonrunner and is right where I was when I started! I get to be coach. Its an awesome feeling! And I decided to stretch that great feeling - I am forming a running team for a 5k approx 11 weeks from now... the Komen race for a cure 5k in Hunt Valley, MD. My team will be almost completely 5k/race virgins. How awesome is that!?!

I fell off the wagon...

Its true. After 2-3 awesome weeks with healthy eating, running, and feeling all around awesome... I decided that feeling bad about myself, being bloated and just BLAH is so much more fun. So I ate, and ate, and ate.... and you know what? It sucked. And now I am struggling with all of my might to get back. And it is hard.

I do not like how I feel - I feel like I have failed myself, that I am not worthy, that I am not strong. AND I KNOW THAT IS NOT TRUE... so I need to stop doing things that make me feel like this!

I have decided to go back to wheat free - I like that way I feel when Im wheat free. I think I will allow myself 2 non-plan things a week. NOT two non-plan meals or non-plan days... but 2 non-plan foods.

I have also been asked to help someone get into being healthier and train for her first 5k - from a complete nonrunner. I am super excited about this and feel so honored that they think of me as a runner. I love to share what I am passionate about.