Saturday, February 27, 2010

Random thoughts...

Ok first happy thoughts then stressed thoughts :)

I have some new favorite food staples in my house -
1. Brown rice with sauted onions and garlic mixed in
2. cornish hens - so tender :)
3. yoplaits delights - rasperry chocolate with frozen rasberries mixed in
4. lemon juice to mix in my water
5. bagel thins - great for sandwiches
6. roasted garlic hummus - surprisingly low in calories, great for carrots or a spread on your sandwich.
7. peanut butter fiber one bars from the fridge.

There are many more but nothing is sticking into my head.

So now stressed thoughts - it is taking EVERYTHING in me not to weigh myself. I have thought about the damn scale almost every minute of every day since last monday. No I havent weighed myself but I have wanted to over and over and over - every time I think about it I tell myself wait until tomarrow. Then tomarrow I tell myself wait until the next day. Eventually I will get to weigh in day. But that doesnt mean I havent thought about that stupid number - I think about it ALL the time. Why can one number have so much control over my life? Why cant I be happy with the way my body is feeling or the way my clothes are starting to feel or the happiness I get after a great run? WHY do I have to be so controlled by a number that shouldnt matter???

And the other thing that has me so stressed out is what if I weigh in on Monday and my weight is up... what if I am doing EVERYTHING right and nothing happens. What if I am working my ass off in my gym and staying within my calorie range - not splurging AT ALL and the weight doesnt come off anymore... what if I get stuck here? When I get stuck I quit - that is my normal pattern - and then I gain back everything plus alittle.

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