Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Im dreading weighing intomarrow - its just going to make my mood worse.
And its a vicious cycle. I will get tons of energy if I get running again, but I cant get running until I have some form of energy which I wont get until I start exercising!
Monday, September 28, 2009
BUT I havent let the nonmoving number affect me AT all. I have been awesome! I have stayed within my points. I have made healthy food choices - last night I was STARVING when I got home but instead of picking up fast food like I really wanted to do... I came home. Boiled a single small potatoe to mash with fat free sourcream, grilled chicken and brocoli. It felt good afterwards not to be upset with myself. I also need to work on decreasing the diet sodas I consume - it makes me crave sweets and although Im not giving in to the craving they suck. So I have decided that for every diet cherry pepsi I am charging myself one WW point. Yes I know they are zero points but I need to hold myself accountable not to overdo it... if I wanted to then I could EASILY drink a case of sodas in two days!
Im dreading weighing in on thursday. I want a good weigh in!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
It has been a good week food wise. Friday and Saturday I went alittle overboard and used ALL of my extra points but I have surprisingly been able to stay within my daily points every day since then. Tomarrow night is weigh in - I hope my good work from sunday on helps and fri and sat doesnt come back to kick me in the butt! Its also that time of the month so the last day or so I have tried to back off on the salt so I dont hold on to too much water weight.
I just ran a mile and then did week 2 day 2 of my abs/pushup/squat challange. WOW my abs hurt! And soooo proud of how I am doing with the pushups. Starting I could only do 7 but I just did 5 rounds of 10-12 pushups! It felt awesome!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Its just one meal why do I care? I tend to go off WW for a dinner out that quickly morphs into a full out week or two week binge with multiple meals out. Then doing well last week will mean nothing. Im almost scared of food!
So I have requested a different place to eat... hopefully the girls dont mind.
Friday, September 18, 2009
This morning I went to make Eric and I breakfast. I made scrambled eggs with 2 yolks and the rest whites and a wedge of laughing cow cheese, it was yummy. I made reduced fat buscuits. Just one buscuit was 4 points! Yummy but OMG! Then it made me think about what I would NORMALLY make for breakfast. Normally it would be regular buscuits of which I would probually have 4, covered in homemade sausage gravy, bacon and full yolk scrambled eggs. I think that is like 30 points! No wonder Im fat!!!
Today I went to the brand new panera bread twice and I am super proud of myself. I only had coffee for the first time and just enjoyed talking with friends. The second time was for lunch with Eric. I had a salad with no dressing and veggie soup and an apple. I didnt give in to the orange scone (13 points!) that I really wanted in addition to my food!
Hopeing for a good week!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
I know WW works, I know I lose weight very quickly when I do things right. The question is why the hell dont I do it right all the time?!? I could have been at my goal weight by now! I have been doing this for 10month and I have barely lost 20lbs!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I tend to work out during the biggest loser, watching the show while I workout makes me go that extra step, extra mile, extra weight, extra rep. I decided tonight to run with the goal of 4 miles. Halfway through mile 2 they were all sitting on the couch introducing themselves. When Abby starting talking about losing her husband and two small children in a car accident I could barely catch my breath or see from the tears streaming down my face. Running and bawling do not go together. How can a wife and mother live through that? She is one of the strongest courageous women I have ever seen. I cannot to begin to imagine life without the two most important people in my life, my husband and amazing child. That was the end of my run, Im still sitting here crying, sweating, and crying. I hope this show helps her find her inner self, her inner beauty and reminds her that she is still here for a reason. If there is a heaven I hope her husband and children are looking down on her and giving her an extra boost of encouragement and are proud of her.
Monday, September 14, 2009
UPDATE - Just finished week 1 day 1 and im sweating! Week six of abs is going to SUCK
Saturday, September 12, 2009
I am hoping and praying for a loss this week, I need it!
I went and ran this morning, ran 1 mile straight, walked a lap then did 10 up and down the bleachers.
I only have 11 weeks left of graduate school, just 11 weeks! And if I hear him complain ONE MORE TIME! Saturdays are my only day off. This saturday I let him sleep in until 11am. I took G to the grocery store with me which adds like an hour to my shopping time so he could have some down time. I did my wifely duties :) I am making dinner. ANd then he complains that
1. I have to do school work tonight so I cant watch a movie
2. Poor him has to get up with G tomarrow and cant stay up late so he cant play with us or spend time with us because he needs to record something about 9/11 that is already saved on DVR and isnt going anywhere to a DVD.
God forbid he lets me have any down time on my ONLY day off!
He constantly complains that he has no relaxing time since he is with G on his days off... he is your son butt munch!
He tells me when I am spending time to work out that I am just wasting my time and I should wait 11 weeks until im done... he seriously said "its not like you will weigh 400 lbs by then"... he has lost the sensitivity gene I swear!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
SO I went to my favoritoe blog http://ronisweigh.com/ for some inspiration. She is doing a push up, squat and situp challange and I decided to join her.
Pushups...check out the challange
I am rank #2 - I could only do 7 push ups with good form.
Squats - check out the challange
I was in the "good" section - I did 40 squats in good form
Situps (yuck) - check out the challange
I was in the "poor" section - I did 25 in good form then my neck started to hurt, so maybe not so much in good form :( I hate situps!
SO who wants to join me??? Its a 6 week program, 3 days a week. Based on the schedule doesnt look like it takes too long either. You need NO equipement and you can do it in the privacy of your living room during your favorite show!
They suggest you start a few days after your initial test. So I am starting on friday but will restart week one that following monday as well. I will be doing mon, wed and friday.
Who is with me? Post your progress in comments!
Why did I follow up on pizza with chocolate icecream?
Why did I follow up with pizza and chocolate icecream with reeces pieces?
Why have I not worked out in 2 days?
I feel gross. I feel bloated and yucky! And I have a horrible headache that just wont go away.
I am dissappointed in myself - not because of splurging alittle... everyone needs to splurge alittle but more because after the pizza I should have been done. I didnt really WANT the icecream, I wasnt really craving it and I had it anyways.
If I am craving something then yes I should give in alittle but if I dont really care for it then why put the calories in my mouth???
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I spent the entire day busy as can be in clinical today - the time flew. Then I was on mom duty with my little man and now I need to get going and do some reading before heading to bed. I really wanted to work out tonight but it didnt happen... tomarrow!
SO my meal plan for tomarrow and yes lunch is already packed!
5am coffee (0)
7am cottage cheese with fruit (3)
10am fiber one bar (2) coffee (0)
12 sandwich (3), apple (1), almonds (2)
230pm wasa crackers and cheese (2)
530pm coffee (1), sandwich (3)
7pm soup (1)
Monday, September 7, 2009
445 coffee, coffee, and some coffee
7am cottage cheese with fruit, fiber one bar (5 points)
9am coffee with skim milk (1)
1230 sandwich (3), sm apple (1), wasa with cheese (2), carrots (0) = 6 points
3pm coffee (1)
430 fiber one bar (2)
630 veggie lentil soup (2), chicken with bbq sauce and brocoli (4) = 6
8pm 1/2 cup icecream (5)
So thats what I planned and I stayed pretty close...
6am coffee (0)
7am fiber one bar (2)
8am coffee (1)
12pm sandwich (3), apple (2), wasa with cheese (2)
4pm fiber one bar (2)
6pm chicken (4), green beans (0), veggie soup (1)
running total = 17... 11 left
Eric is working evenings for the next two weeks. No one is here to watch what I am eating and because of that I want to splurge soooo bad! I want to go get taco bell and McDonalds. I want to go to the grocery store and get half a cherry pie and get rid of the evidence before my hubby gets home. I want to take my 3 year old out for dinner for "bonding time" just so I can order super yummy food and then I want to take G out for icecream. I have done each and every one of those things every time dh goes to evenings. I eat when he isnt here. But today, the first day of his evening shift, I have vowed instead I would tell all of you my horrible little secret. By telling on myself the secrecy to it and therefore not nearly as tempting. Instead Im making some homemade lentil veggie soup for the week (super yummy) and Im enjoying a baked potatoe with light sour cream and some left over chicken. And staying within my points. If I would have done everything I wanted to I would have felt miserable and disgusting and VERY dissapointed in myself!
I have to admit though - I am always so worried that once I lose the weight that everything I blamed on the weight will still be a problem and I will have to come to the realization that my problems are not from my weight as I have easily blammed my weight for my problems. My lack of close friendships, my uneasiness around people I do and dont know, my opinion of myself. I have told myself over and over that when I lose the weight all of that will get better.
I need to suck it up and do some school work today too - I need to not get behind with my readings because once im stressed all hell breaks loose.
Todays food journal
730am coffee, coffee and more coffee with ff creamer and splenda with fiber (1 point)
830am high fiber english muffin with spray butter and cinnimon (1 point)
10am egg on a slice of high fiber bread (3 points)
1230pm lunch - homemade nachos. 1/2 cup black beans (1 point), 1/2 cup diced bbq grilled chicken (2 points), 1/3 cup ww cheese (2 points), 1oz baked tortilla chips (2 points) jalapenos, homemade salsa = 7 points. SO SO SO yummy! I prefer these over the nachos at Baja! They are so yummy and very filling and just the right amount. And super easy to make too... you just make them on a baking sheet and put them in the toaster over to broil for a few minutes ....YUMMY!
3pm fiber one bar (2 points)
6pm grilled chicken (3 points), baked potatoe with low fat sour cream (4), brocoli (0), bbq sauce (1) = 8 points
630 one single bite of g's icecream (guessing 1 point)... and yes seriously I only ate one bite! :)8pm the best dessert EVER... OMG it was sooo good! Mix 2 wedges of laughing cow cheese with splenda (1 point), put that over one of those dessert cups for shortcake (1 point) and cover it in strawberries (1-2 points), I used splenda with fiber so Im giving this 3 points. It was so so so so good, rich and creamy!
running total = 26 points ... 2 left incase I need a "snack" before going to bed... not great but oh well it happens!
Exercise - Today I met up with Sandi at the local high school track. We walked 1/2 lap then ran a full lap for a total of 6 laps then walked 1/2 ran fast 1/2 for 3 laps, walked a lap and then walked the bleachers. Good sweat! Didnt really push myself as much as I could have but will next time! Im so proud of my running buddy, just had a baby and she is doing AWESOME! She thinks "hopefully" she can do a 5k come spring, hell I think she will be ready by November!
Im hoping to start some double work outs, running in the am and then elliptical or weights in the evening, not every day or I would get burnt out but a few days a week.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
And for the record I think I hate my darker hair... it washes out my face :(
Tomarrow will be a better day...
Saturday, September 5, 2009
I promised myself that on days I post a food journal then every single bite that goes into my mouth would go on that posting. Today is a food journal day - hopefully tomarrow will be too - and if it goes in my mouth... if I walk into the kitchen then I have to post what I eat and the amount I can consume in the 10 minutes Eric is showering would disgust me. I could easily consume 1000 calories in that 10 or 15 min. Im not hungry. I have acknowledged that I am not hungry so if I went in there and started eating then I would 100% be trying to fill some other void, not hunger. And I would feel disgusted and like a failure.
The real question is what void am I trying to fill? I wish I knew the answer to that, I would have been much more successful in previous endeavers. I have tried this over and over, I make some head way then I throw a wrench into things and I fall back and then some extremely quickly. Last December I was at my max - 201 lbs. But the question remains... what am I trying to fill? Yes I have a hectic busy life but for the most part its a happy life. I know I am lucky to have the opportunities I have right now. The opportunity to go back to school for my masters with a great husband doing everything he can to support my decision. I am blessed with an amazing three year old and I have a few people I consider true friends. Yes I have issues in my past and I am sure alot of that has to do with my issues, none of which I want to go into tonight. BUT if I want this to work then I need to come to terms with past events which I vow to work on.
coffee with fat free creamer and splenda with fiber (a fabulous idea!) - zero points
Egg sandwich with high fiber english muffin, one egg and a slice of weight watcher cheese - 4 pts
nachos with baked tortilla chips (2 points), ww cheese (2 points), and home-made salsa = 4 points
Iced coffee with skim milk - 1 point
Fiber one bar - 2 points
dinner - grilled chicken (5 points), angel hair pasta with fresh tomatoes and goat cheese (5 points), brocoli (0 points) = 10 points
total 21 points. I have 7 points left over so I think im going to splurge on a small strawberry shortcake with icecream :)
Today was a VERY good day. I ate within my daily points. I exercised and I feel great! Except for my new hair dye thats alittle too dark.
Today I met up with a friend, Sandi (thanks sandi) and we hit the highschool track shortly after waking up. Alittle later then my normal wake up of 6am with a three year old needing to pee since my wonderful husband let me sleep in a bit today. So at 845 we hit the track. We walked/ran 9 laps. Three months ago I could have ran almost all of them straight, definatly not now. I was almost relieved that Sandi is newly back to running (and 3 weeks postpartum... crazy girl) so I knew she wouldnt be running miles and I let myself stop after a lap or 1/2 a lap to walk a bit... because I didnt want to over do it for her... or atleast thats what I told myself. It was as much that I didnt want to over do it for me and be a failure.
Now to keep my eating under rap today. Last night was BAD. Knowing I was going full force this morning - stupid stupid me binged like crazy last night on junk. I had guacamole (yummmmm) and iced animal cookies and fruitsnacks galore. It was kind of sickening. So as far as Im concerned most if not all of my extra weekly weight watcher points are gone so Im going to try my best to stick to my daily 28 points each day and dont go over. If planned its really easy, unplanned VERY difficult.
For those of you not familur with WW (weight watchers)... I meet weekly on thursdays with my meeting group. My best friend Racheal goes with me. We weigh in then some times stay for the meeting. I do better that week when we stay for the meeting. I get 28 points a day with an extra 30 something a week. Racheal and I have been in the bad habit of using those thursdays as our time away from responsibility, away from husbands, kids, dirty houses, ect ect. It is our time to just spend on us. So sometimes after the meeting or after weighing in we go for drinks and dinner... not WW friendly. We need to get better about that!
I will post my weight weekly starting next thursday. I have gained a pound or two each week for about 3 weeks now... its pathetic!
My other goals are to start drinking more water and take my vitamin. I SUCK at taking a vitamin. I can never remember!
So while this is saturday... Im starting anew right now. Next thursday will restart my counts but we arent waiting for then to get around.