Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I have been MIA

Sorry but I have been alittle MIA lately - not on purpose or trying to slack off but just really really busy with life and every time I went to blog, sleep sounded soooooo much better and kept winning.

Life has been good, but ridiculously busy. Work has been insane and has left me with NO energy when I get home. I have been doing so so well with getting my workouts in and for the most part good with my diet. I lost 4 lbs this week - but that was because I gained a few last week :( Lets not do the yoyo thing - it isnt healthy, for my body or my head... lets not go there!

I have been fighting bad thoughts lately - just not feeling very good about myself, not sure why but the bad self thoughts have been sneaking through more and more lately. I feel fat. I feel lonely. I feel like I am not a very good person and that I dont have alot of friends or people who try to get me around them because Im just not that great to be around. Sometimes I wonder if people are thinking "god she is coming, oh no" or "uhhh I have to hang out with her today, hope so and so is there too". I dont know why I have these feelings, I always have - like Im the fat annoying girl that no one wants to be around. Arent fat people supposed to be funny and a great person to be around? why arent I?

So I am just trying to push past those feelings, not feed them like I usually do. I am taking this one day at a time. I know I can be a better person than I am so lets start and stop being so bitchy all the time.


  1. I am feeling the same way. I am so with you. I need to get back on the horse and start doing things that will help me get healthy. I started a 30 day blogger health challenge. I am hoping that will help me achieve my goals.

  2. YAAAAA - I just got my first comment from someone I dont actually know face to face... woohoo! Thank you, you totally just made my day!

  3. I hope you know that I never feel like that about you. I look forward to hanging out with you. And in case I forget to mention it when I see you. You really are looking AMAZING! I am very proud of you for sticking to it, and working so hard. After I have this baby, you will have to kick my butt into gear. I don't ever see myself having what it takes to do what you do.