an AHA moment...

SO this morning wasnt feeling so great about myself - FOR NO REASON... I have been doing awesome. But doubt crept into my head. What if I didnt do well enough? What if I didnt track my points correctly? ect ect ect.

I was in the car with my little princess asleep in her carseat driving to weight watchers to weigh in this morning and I had an aha moment. I was thinking about how I talk to my children. I tell my 5 year old way more times than I can count every day that I love him. When he does well or tries something I tell him how proud I am of him - also several times a day. I tell him he is strong, smart, and sweet. I tell him he can be anything, do anything as long as he tries. I tell him never to give up - when something is hard that just means you have to try harder.

And what do I tell myself? I tell myself Im fat, short, ugly, a bad wife, not worth it, ect ect ect... you know what bad self talk Im talking about. When did I stop telling myself that I love me, that Im worth it, that Im proud of myself?

I am smart.
I am a strong.
I am a great mom.
I am a good wife.
I am considerate.
I am passionate.
I am alot more than I give myself credit for.

And I am PROUD of myself. Im proud that I got back into the swing of things so soon after having a baby instead of making that another excuse. Im proud that my body has produced two wonderful human beings. Im proud that my legs, and brain - carried me 26.2 miles last spring. Im proud of my work in the ICU... I am VERY good at what I do and I make a difference in peoples lives.

I am so much more than that horrible self talk. The bad talk isnt going to go away overnight but I need to work harder on it going away. If something is hard, that means you work harder.

Oh and I lost 2.6 lbs this week! WOOHOO!