Saturday, September 11, 2010

I didnt want to post this...

I didnt want to post this but here goes... I have BINGED, pigged out, stuffed my face, over ate, you name it for about 3 days now. I keep telling myself to stop as Im popping things into my mouth.

I talked my husband into going out for icecream.

I ordered pizza and cheesy bread last night for me and my 4 year old... wonder who ate most of it?!?

I took my friends son to McD's today while we waited to go see his new baby sister and ordered stuff I havent eaten in MONTHS.

I got a few handfuls of candy from the hospital gift shop.

I ate a TON of cheese and crackers for dinner - not to mention the pancakes for breakfast.

I made a full fat full sugar cobbler and I have already eaten half of it. Its so buttery that its on the verge of gross.

I have drank a 12 pk of diet cherry pepsi in the past 3 days.

UHHHHH - I feel disgusting! I feel GROSS. My skin feels disgusting. I am bloated. I have pooped like 5 times today. I have no energy. I feel lazy.

wow I feel so much better just putting all this out there.

The ironic part is I have been educating myself the past few days - I have read some books on cleaner and more local eating. Today I cleaned out my cabinets and went and stocked up on fruits and veggies. I ran 8 freaking miles friday and agreed to sign up for a full marathon come early spring.

I KNOW what I should be doing. I KNOW what makes my body feel and look better. I KNOW I am self sabataging myself. What I dont know is why the fuck im doing it?!?

I am dreading getting on the scale tomarrow. Before I would have just ignored this week all together. Not weighed in until I knew I was back down. No tomarrow morning I am facing the damn scale and will take what it says and move forward.

Tomarrow is a new week. I have fessed up to my shortcomings and will continue to work to turn them around...starting with going into the kitchen and throwing away the rest of that buttery sugary cobbler!

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