Yes I know Im not tiny. Yes I know I still have about 30 lbs to lose... BUT Im in the 160s thats not HUGE anymore. I am the size of atleast 1/3 of the women I run into, if not smaller. Im not a fat girl anymore. Im not 200 lbs anymore. So WHY do I keep feeling the exact same?
Today I went to the gym and had a rocking spin class. I got G from the gym daycare and we got our bathing suits on and headed to the kiddie pool outside. Im actually feeling pretty decent in my bathing suit these days so it wasnt the bathing suit - shocker I know. Well in the kiddie pool I ran into a girl that I went to middle school with. I said hi and asked her if we knew each other since she looked so familur and turns out 6th and 7th grade... that was ALONG time ago - crazy! But then I went into fat girl mode. I didnt feel "cool" or likable and thought that noone would want to talk or hang out with me because Im the big girl.
Now my brain knows that those feelings are crazy. Im a nice good sometimes funny great person to get to know. And there were women WAY bigger than me at the pool yet I completly lost all of my confidence and went into self conscience blah mode.
WHY does that happen and will it ever go away?