Monday, December 13, 2010

sorry I have been MIA

I havent posted in a couple days and that very much isnt like me. Sometimes I post multiple times a day, but generally atleast daily.

The reason for my missing in action... I have SUCKED. I went off on a binge and couldnt stop myself. I have no clue what started this particular binge - I havent been my stressed, sad, mad, nothing... but regardless it happenned. For example, on Saturday I worked 12 hours. This was the food I consumed on saturday -
7ish Peanut butter and banana english muffin
on way to work - 2 donuts and coffee
lunch - grilled chicken sandwich with cheese and full serving of fries
3-5pm multiple pieces of holiday candy
8pm 2 cupcakes and multiple cookies
830pm 2 tacos from taco bell, apple empanada
9-10pm 2 things of fruit snacks and 2 fruit roll ups

WTH?!? I wasnt hungry - obviously since I was very full most of the day. The amount of sugar and junk I put in my body was disgusting.

Yesterday was alittle better - did great at work... egg whites and english muffin, apple slices, baked chicken and veggies for lunch, banana, egg white sandwich for dinner. Then it fell apart - multiple cookies and fruit snacks before bed - about 10-12 points worth.

So frustrated with myself. Its like Im scared to hit the 140s - that I dont deserve to be in the 140s. 140s is too much of a normal weight and I still feel like a fat chick.

Today has been much better - started the morning with a hard workout at the gym. 80 min on the treadmill - turns out that is when the gym treadmills automatically turn off :) Did 60 min of solid running which was my goal for today and then 20 min of speed and hill drills. Followed the cardio with some upper body weight training and abs. Felt awesome until I was putting my weights back and dropped a 12 lb weight on the tip of my right pinky... pretty sure its broken. Its blue/black, very swollen and sore. Fun fun.

Eating so far so good today too - pb and banana english muffin this am. Lunch was 4oz of baked chicken and a ton of fresh steamed greenbeans and brocoli. I had a few apple slices off G's lunch plate. Tons of water. Dinner will be more of the chicken and veggies - I made a ton and we will be getting back from karate right at dinner time so easy meal. I will add mac and cheese for the boys in my life... never tempted with mac and cheese, just isnt my thing.

Hopefully starting my week off right will help me continue on a good path this week.

3 comments:

  1. Great workout stats today - as for the eating, put it behind you. Maybe you needed a couple of cheat days - it doesn't matter now. And I know how it is to be scared of achieving something, and so you sabotage yourself - just recognize that that's what you're doing and maybe you can stop it. Maybe force yourself to post your daily food tallies here until you reach the 140's? Sometimes knowing that I have to post it keeps me from over-indulging (or from slacking off, if it's exercise I'm posting).

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  2. I too agree with Terri, a few days of bad eating can be hard the morning after, but don't let it bring you down, you've come too far for that.

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