I feel off the wagon a few days ago. On day 16 of my 30 days of whole30. Ok I didnt really fall... I jumped. I jumped MOUTH first into a crap load of crap. And then continued down that path for another 2 full days. It was disgusting.
And two weeks before that I fell of the exercise wagon. I had no desire to do anything. And I felt like crud.
Ok let me back up a bit. Last time I did the whole paleo thing, after going through the withdrawl portion, I felt AMAZING. I had MASSIVE amounts of energy. I woke up so freaking happy.
I started the whole30 expecting those feelings to come back and then some. But while I was eating right... I wasnt getting nearly enough sleep and wasnt working out at all. And shocker - those feelings of amazement never came. And then I had the "well fuck it" attitude and well here I am.
Yesterday I was looking at Roni's blog, Ronisweigh.com, and she had a video of her running the zombie 5k in a neighboring town. She exuded something I want so badly... self acceptance and confidence. She knows who she is and is who she wants to be.
It made me think. It made me think that Im not acting out who I want to be. Im not doing the basic things that I would need to get to that place. And its NOT about weight. Its NOT about getting back into my size 8 jeans or seeing a magical number on the scale. It is about being healthy, active, glowing in my skin. Its about being happy.
Now how to get there....