Wednesday, October 14, 2009

always hungry

Unless I am FULL to the max then I feel hungry - there is NO in between. It is very frustrating. I know I shouldnt be hungry, but I want to munch so I have a small snack but the small snack does NOTHING to cure my "hunger" and the feeling of a little bit of food in my stomach just makes me want more, it makes it feel more hollow if thats possible.

Im a smart chick - I know that the hunger I feel isnt for food. I just dont know what its for. Part of me knows that I need to like myself more but I worry that once I lose weight I wont have that to hide behind anymore. Now its easy to believe that I lack some friends and what not because of my weight, or more importantly because of who I am because of my weight. BUT once the weight isnt the problem anymore - what if I dont like me. What if I have to come to the realization that Im boring, not any fun, a gossiper, ect.

3 comments:

  1. I am curious of your definition of "friend"... I know you have friends and as one, I think you're a wonderful, honest, caring, hardworking, loyal woman - weight on or off, that's not changing.

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  2. Thanks Julie - I have been having a pity party latly and am feeling not very close to many people anymore. I constantly worry that people will see through my fascade and realize Im not that great of a person.

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  3. we both need to get out more I think... at least you have school as an excuse (for now)! I have nothing...

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