Saturday, July 31, 2010

Operation 4 pounds...

I need to get ready for work and get out the door but wanted to make a quick post first.

Todays weight 163.5! Down 3.5 lbs this week and lost all that stupid weight I gained last week. Now I want to make up for lost times and I really really really want to see the 150s on the scale! wow I have came a LONG way! I am so proud of myself for continuing to trek on this journey!

So the next 10 days is operation 4 pounds. In 11 days I leave for Niagara falls and will probually gain some if not all of it back but I thought it might push me and inspire me to attempt to be good while there.

So in the next 10 days...
1. I will workout 7 times - 4 of them will be 6+ mile runs
2. I will keep a great food journal and write down EVERYTHING that goes in my mouth before I do it.
3. I will drink lots and lots of water

I can totally do this!

Oh and in Jersey I totally rocked my second 6 mile run this week! Its shocking to me that just 3 weeks ago I was freaking out about getting over the 3 mile hump!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

stuff...

So needless to say I didnt get up and spin this morning since I didnt fall asleep until 4am! I hate when insomnia wins... it sucks!

Operation no secret snacking/gorging so far so good... they have so many yummy options but Ive done good. But ALL I have thought about is food... seriously, every minute!

I went to drive and map my 6 mile run for tomarrow morning (it is very very flat here) and stopped at Dunkin Donuts for a coffee (3 hours of sleep is not going well). They have a new donut that is glazed, dipped in caramel and drizzled with chocolate... I wanted it... BAD... but I didnt give in. Yaa me! Hope the rest of tonight and tomarrow is about the same.

Here is to a good run tomarrow!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

worried...

Just want to put this out there so that I will deal with things and know that its out there...

Im alittle worried about heading to my SIL's tomarrow. I tend to eat... and eat... and eat a TON of junk when Im there. Yes they always have lots of healthy options but they have ALOT of unhealthy ones too and I tend to eat more and more and more of the unhealthy stuff. I eat with everyone then sneak snacks ALL day and night long. Not to mention the mixed drinks and beer I drink by the pool. Not diet friendly. I have been good lately and I dont want this to throw me on a loop again... once I get off track one day it turns into a week and 5 lbs of being off track. I cant let that happen.

SO Im putting it out there to all of you...
I will stay within 3 meals and 1-2 snacks.
I will watch my portions.
I will not drink any alcohol, dont need it - water, water and water.
I will not snack in secret.
I will snack on fruit and veggies.
I will not eat junk during the drive... I can not eat for 2 hours, I wont die!

I have also planned my workouts for the next two days. If I can get up early enough I am spinning EARLY tomarrow before we head out. I also have a 6 mile run planned from www.RunKeeper.com (I like this much better than mapmyrun.com!) and will run that friday morning.

I can do this. I can be in control of me.

AWESOME day!

Started the day with sleeping in until 8am... woohoo... thats LATE in my house!

Then went for a run


It was a GREAT run... my longest to date! I went to the ma and pa trail to run. I ran 2 of the three parts twice. One part is VERY VERY VERY hilly, and I rocked it!

The first dip was me stopping halfway to drink some water (I havent really mastered the drinking and running yet), the second dip was a straight upright LONG hill that I about died on and had to walk the last third up. Today was my first run with my belt... two small water bottles definately isnt enough.

For my next 10 runs or so Im trying different forms of energy eating stuff while I run to see what I like best now that my runs are much longer.

Today I tried the mint chocolate GU


I like the GU much better than the energy beans. Much easier to take in while trying to run and breath. I liked the texture of the GU, kind of like icing. I loved the flavor. My only complaint is after running 30 min or so I was HOT and the chocolate initially did not sit very well in my super hot stomach. Something berry in nature might sit better. But after 5 min or so I felt ok.

Eating was right on today - even dinner out... I got a plain grilled chicken and a side of veggies. The veggies had butter on them :( so I only ate a few pieces.

Tomarrow Im aiming to get up EARLY ... and on my day off... to hit the 545 spin class before spending two days with family.

On a major plus note... my dad is coming to visit from Texas in October and he will be here during my first half marathon!

Monday, July 26, 2010

real quick...

1. Couldnt sleep last night, tossed and turned for HOURS! Overslept... no morning workout :(

2. Was 100% on point food wise today!

3. 9pm after 12 hours of working I decided I still needed to get my workout in... aimed for 60 min on the treadmill running but I HATE the threadmill with a passion! It was so nice outside but I dont run in the dark by myself so treadmill it was. Got 27 min - 2.8 miles in before my mind won and I stopped. I wasnt tired but BORED. So short run today.

4. My new water belt thing came today! Hubby said I looked "cute" when I was showing it off.

5. Im trying different energy options for my longer runs. Today I tried the energy beans while I was on the treadmill. It appears I cannot chew, run and breath at the same time. Looks like its going to be goo for me...

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Great weekend!

I have had a great weekend this weekend. Starting friday night with date night with hubby, an early long hilly sat run with Nicole and some great quality time with my favorite little man in the world. We just went and jumped in puddles from the storm we had... now its bath time.

I decided not to work out today - I think the day after my longest run of the week needs to be my off day. I was just too sore - my back was killing me today!

Tomarrow is going to be a sucky workout day - I work tomarrow and E is on early shift so I have to work out at home ... on the dreaded treadmill. Im aiming to ust run 45 min straight. Not looking at distance or anything else.

Ive been on point for meals except date night but its all good.

:)

Im 100% sure its the placebo affect... but by restarting my antidepressant 5 days ago, I feel like Im in such a better mood.

Last night I actually played like crazy with the little man... something I havent been doing alot of lately... which makes me SO mad at myself.

I am weighing in daily for a bit - no comments please, I need the constant reminder right now because lately I have sucked. I need to see what daily eating and working out is doing, and if I binge what that does. Today I was down 2 lbs from yesterday morning, still one pound up from last week which shows alot was water weight since I was eating so much more salty stuff.

My back is not happy at the moment - my left part of my back is really tight. I just took some motrin and hope it kicks in super soon so I can make it to spin this morning. If it doesnt no biggie - I can do the elliptical later this evening, some swimming and weights and tomarrow do a super early before work spin class.

Im getting so so so excited about our trip to Niagara Falls in a few weeks - I just did the August schedule and while Im feeling so guilty about leaving G behind for 4 days, right after pushing him to my moms all weekend before that for us to work - but we really need some reconnecting alone adult time. I am so excited!

My mom has a ton of nice dresses since she goes on alot of cruises - I went to try on all of her smaller ones (10's) and every single one was too big!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

A great way to start the week...

My weigh in days are Saturday mornings so as far as Im concerned that is the start of my week. And I started this day off great with an awesome run with my awesome running partner Nicole. I shoudl have had her husband take our pic while we passed him running!



I think we are officially ready for the 10K in August... shouldnt be a problem. We are picking up our mileage well.

After the run I went home and showered then went out to breakfast with hubby where, get this, I had 1 egg, 1 dry english muffin, and a cup of fruit. Yaaa me! Eating has gone really well today.

Dinner was awesome!

For 6 points...
This serves only one since I was cooking for myself tonight...
Boil 1 oz (half a serving) of whole wheat pasta, saute 1/2 an onion, 1/2 a zucchini, 1/2 a pepper, 2 oz chicken, tons of garlic and 2 table spoons of diced tomatoe. Put sauted mixture on top of pasta and sprinkle with 1 oz goat chese. SO SO SO GOOD and a HUGE bowl of food!

I still have 5 points for the rest of the night.

I went to the running store and wow I felt like a runner talking "running shop" with the guys there... I bought an assortment of energy beans, gummies, and goo to try different things to see what I like. I hope my new water belt I ordered comes soon!

Tomarrow I will be at the morning spin class.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

back to my regular scheduled program...

Its time to retake control of me. I have no clue what happenned or why I let it happen. Why I just threw my hands up in the air and said "fuck it". I have worked my ass off to get where I am and I was ready to just say - I dont care anymore. But I do. I care ALOT. And I need to let myself know how much I really care. I care about me and its damn time I show myself!

First big step - I got my antidepressant reordered and I restarted today. That is a big step for me. I hate that I have to rely on a med to make me "me" but I have tried everything else and I feel horrible without it. I have no desire for all the things that encompass life. I ignore everything. I hate that feeling more than I hate needing to rely on meds!

Second - time to get back on the workout wagon. It is my therapy. I love it but for a brief period of time I forgot that. I have signed up for the hour long spin class tomarrow... I might die but Julie will die right along with me! Saturday is a 5 mile run with Nicole. Sunday will be spin class again - 45 min this time :)

Now my eating... I went buck wild on the eating department this week. I have eaten probually double or triple the calories than normal every single day. I ate if I was hungry or not. I ate junk more junk and then some junk. I have drank fancy coffee drinks and LOTS of diet soda. I have been putting poison in my body. Over and over again and it needs to stop! Tomarrow is dinner out at Melting Pot for my anniversary. I will watch what Im eating up until then and all bets are off. But starting saturday morning and through next week lots of fruits and veggies. Fresh stuff. Lean meats. Good carbs. Staying within my daily points only each day. No extra points.

The 3.5 or so pounds I have gained this week will be OFF my next weigh in - I promise all of you and me that one. This was a hiccup on my journey.

Funk

I am in a huge funk.

Since saturday I have gained 3.5 lbs...how the hell can it take me two weeks to lose that much but I can gain it in 5 days? I know some is water weight, I have really increased my salt intake but I have eaten HORRIBLY since saturday. Once I start I cant stop and now Im bummed and just want to eat more... its a horrible cycle.

I didnt work out yesterday or today - Im exhausted. I just want to go back to bed but I have to get ready for work.

blahhhhhhh

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I feel very very blah.

Im up 2 lbs since saturday.

I feel like Im about to start PMS'ing.

I couldnt sleep last night and then G was up "scared" from 3am til 430 and now Im getting ready for work.

I feel bloated and gross and very very very dissapointed in myself for letting myself slide for NO reason.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

the good and the bad and the so so

The good...

I had a GREAT run today!

My longest run to date - 5 miles! Wasn't it just yesterday that I was so worried about getting over the 3 mile hump mentally. I was strong through the entire run. I was aiming for 6 miles but that would have been a 2 mile bump up and while running I talked myself out if it - that it was not a good idea to bump up that quickly. Last Saturday I ran a little over 4 miles. Today 5 miles. This Saturday planned 5 miles with Nicole. Next week I will up to 6 miles.

Tomorrow I am going to attempt to get to the gym at 530am for my spin class... hopefully I do not forget anything this time!

The bad...

I am either going to gain weight or stay the same this week. I just cannot get my eating under control this week. I cannot seem to stay within my points. I am not eating horribly but definately not eating well... and I know me, if I do not stay within my calories then I do not lose weight. I know my weight loss well.


The so so...


I am not sure how I feel about this but I have decided to go back on my antidepressant. I went off about 3 months ago and it has not gone so well. I keep trying to get off of it - I HATE that I have to rely on a pill to feel happy and feel like me.

I initially went on it after having my son and fighting some powerful postpartum depression. I tried to go off when he was about 6 months and had to go right back on. I tried to go off a year or so later and made it about a year before I went back for another prescription. I went off 3 months ago. I thought exercise would be my savior. I am happy about my body. I am happy with my accomplishments. BUT I am sinking back into a depression. I want to sleep ALL of the time. I do not care to play with my son. I do not care if my yard is full of weeds and my house looks like a cyclone hit it. I have no desire to venture out of the house. Its time to go see the doctor. I hate that but I have realized I would rather be happy than proud.

Do not judge.

Monday, July 19, 2010

PISSED!

I planned ahead. Everything was packed. I woke up in time and had my cup of coffee. I grabbed everything and headed to the gym...

Got about 2 blocks from the gym and realized I left my work uniform on a hanger on my kitchen table! ERRRRR! So I had to turn around, then I was stuck behind someone going 10 under the damn speed limit. So I got home with 5 min until my class started - not enough time to get to the gym and on a bike. BUMMED...

SO I figured I woudl just work out at home instead of going back to bed. I should have just went back to bed! I did about 20 min on the elliptical... it is so so so damn boring.

Im going to try to do another 20 min or so either on the treadmill or elliptical when I get home tonight. Aiming for a great run tomarrow.

Hope its a good day!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

my role model...

I saw a quote today - I wish I would have written down who said it... if it is you please let me know.

"I have met my role model, and it is me"

At times I think poorly of myself but for the most part I am proud of myself. I look back at what I have been able to accomplish and I am in awe of myself. I am a great role model to myself. I just need to remember every once in a while why I am so awesome and trust myself.

On a side note, I got my workout in today... no matter how much I didnt want to do it. It wasnt fabulous but it was definately sweat filled! I have registered for the 545 am spin class tomarrow, packed my lunch, packed my workout bag and my work clothes.

And now Im sitting down about to watch a super young gal chick flick on abc family (revenge of the bridesmade) and about to enjoy a WW icecream cup with crushed pretzel pieces added. Yummy!

note to self...

Quit feeling sorry for yourself.

Quit whining that you are sore/tired/swollen/blah.

Go put your workout clothes on. Take your ass down stairs and get your sweat on!

good morning.

We had a rough night in my house last night. G fell yesterday at the pool and scrapped up his chest, under arm and leg pretty badly. Needless to say he hurt alot last night and when he tried to sleep he kept rubbing his chest and waking up crying. If he hadnt played and been fine earlier I would have thought maybe he had a broken rib or something the way he was hurting. (he is fine this morning thank goodness). So around midnight he had a big crying session and ended up going to bed with me. My wonderful husband who I havent seen much of lately was nice enough to sleep on the top of G's bunk bed so we could have the bed to ourselves. Im sure he was more thinking that he would get a quieter night sleep there.

So we just woke up - 830ish which is really late for G....yaaa! Needless to say I wont make my 9am spin class. Not that Im much in the mood.

Im sore from running yesterday. Not horribly sore but sore regardless.

Im also alittle bummed at myself for how much I ate yesterday. Its confession time. I ate ALOT. I dont know why I ate everything I ate. I didnt need most of it. I was even getting great attention with everyone telling me how great I look and how much smaller I am. Here is everything I ate yesterday...

peanut butter muffin, egg white muffin, large McD's fries, 4 piece nugget, 2 brownies, 8 crabs, 2 glasses of sangria, 5 diet sodas, two slices of cookie cake with icing, a candy bar, a personal pizza.

Really??? DO you know how much food that is? How many points that is? How gross I feel today. I also feel very bloated and swollen from all of the salt.

The sad part is I want to allow myself to turn that into a week long binge but I am NOT going to do that! I am back on track this morning. I need to stay within my daily points and not go over at all from now until friday since friday Im taking hubby to melting pot. I need to get all my workouts in and drink ALOT of water.

Since I didnt make it to spin today I think instead today I will do 45 min on the elliptical and some weight training.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

random things...

1. Had a GREAT run today with Nicole - 4.3 miles and felt great!

2. Ate like a pig today but its only one day and we are moving on.

3. Just signed up for the Raven Romp 10K for August and Im going to rock it!

4. I miss my hubby.

5. I miss my hubby.

6. I miss my hubby.

woohoo

Just updated my ticker - I have officially lost more weight then I need to loss! 32 lbs down! 29 to go...

Im down 1.5 lbs this week. While I would like for it to be more, Im happy with that. I guess as I get smaller It will get harder to get the pounds off and I need to start being more aggressive keeping within my daily points.

About to head to Havre de grace for my long run of the week. Will update later!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

530 is EARLY....

FYI getting to the gym and on the spin bike by 545... not fun! It is EARLY!!! I couldnt even function and figure out what I was trying to find before heading out the door. Good thing I had already packed everything to just go. SO go I went and I am very happy that I did.

WOW there are some differences though
9am class = about half full, laughing, joking around, talking
545am class = packed (only 2 free bikes), QUIET... nothing but the music.

The teacher for my first early am class was also the teacher that did my first class ever... I hadnt taken her class since then ... great class! I dont think I pushed myself as hard as I normally do but great class!

Now getting ready for work - not nearly as fun as at home... I was sweating even after a cool shower. The blow dryer and straightener I bought just for the gym SUCKED. BUT....

working out early like that gave me SOOOO Much energy ALL day.

Cant wait to see saturdays weigh in!

Oh and I almost forgot... I was talking to my husband this morning telling him about my morning at the gym and his first comment "wow who are you and where is my wife?" love that!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

busy busy

Today was a busy day - started great with my run that I posted about earlier. Then a short nap and some mommy Gavin fun at chuck e cheeses, errands and then G becoming a huge pain in my butt.

He is in bed now - yaaaa! Im catching up on some tv. Reading the first of the true blood series. Doing laundry and more importantly getting ready for tomarrows EARLY gym spin class before work.

Wow those that go to the gym and then shower and dress at the gym... Igive them some credit! It takes alot of packing, planning, ect. If I forget something then I will be peeved since I cant come home before work.

So I went to target and got some extras - a small blowdryer, small straight iron (Im planning to do this alot now!) I have packed my bag - shower stuff, make up, hair stuff. My scrubs are in the wash. My lunch is packed.

I need to pack some breakfast too... note to self.

Alittle bummed - I have been wanting to try a homemade banana soft serve (just put frozen bananas in the food processor for 5 min or so - they supposibly get light, fluffy and very much like soft serve)... my bananas are in the freezer - turns out they take alot longer to freeze solid then I thought ... so they arent frozen, so no banana soft serve for me :( I had to settle on a 60 cal frozen chocolate moose with some fresh rasberries... I know poor me huh?!?

Im a runner!



Got out of bed after only hitting the snooze three times this morning -thats good for me! Immediately put my running gear on and headed out of the house before 630! It was alittle wet outside and threatenned to rain the entire time but all in all it was a great run.

It appears downtown aberdeen is pretty flat... not the best for training but makes a very enjoyable run! I mapped 4 miles but my nike+ said it was 3.77... I must have cut a corner somewhere ... or my nike + was off. I felt great after the run... sweaty, hot but not exhausted. I could have went farther. If I would have thought about it before I got home, I started and ended at the highschool - I should have ran a lap on the track to guarantee I hit the 4 miles. Either way I am past 3 miles - woohoo!

Looking forward to running with Nicole on saturday... and chatting afterwards! Wish she lived closer!

Today is deemed "Gavin day" by Gavin so it appears I will be playing ALOT of trains, swords and games. Tough life! We may even play in the rain - since the rain is ruining going to the fair again!

Tomarrow is the first EARLY spin class, first shower at the gym and first heading straight to work... hope it goes well!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

who am I becoming?

Sometimes the person I am becoming is shocking to me. It has hit me several times today.

At work today I saw a nurse writing a note in a patients chart about an issue with the patients blood pressure and the note read "Christina Savage, CRNP notified of changes"... Im officially on the other side of the notes these days. Im the one they notify of changes. I am the one that has to fix the patient. It shocks me that all of my hard work and lost family hours getting through graduate school is paying off.

The same is true about the new and improved healthier me. I have so much more energy then I have ever had. I worked HARD today - I was very busy at work and I finished those 12 hours by rushing to pick up G, get him home and ready for bed and then immediately headed down to the workout room to get in 45 min on the elliptical.

Other good news.... I forgot my lunch today - so annoying. But I didnt let that get me down. Yes I went a few points over my daily points but I had them in the extra point bank to use. And I ate healthily all day -peanut butter muffin for breakfast, a salad with chicken and fruit for lunch, a small slice of cake (very small), half a plain turkey sandwich for dinner, my healthy 5 point pizza and a frozen 60cal pudding cup.

Tomarrow is a run day - up early, 4 miles. Here I come! After this week 4 miles will be behind me!

Monday, July 12, 2010

great day!

Today was a good day. After not getting my morning run in, I was alittle bummed but Rach agreed to watch G (offered actually, thanks!) and I made a new route from her house. It was 4.4 miles (it felt like way more but I drove it afterwards and clocked it) and I want to say I ran about 4.2 of it... just not the last 3 blocks or so.

I have finally gotten over the three mile hump! I hope adding the rest of the mileage wont be as stressful in my head. My body could do it but my head kept saying no. Well I told my head that it wasnt giving myself enough credit today!

After running I came into a playdate at her house with some peeps I hadnt met yet... im sure I was an interesting site... VERY VERY SWEATY and red and hot and gross. But happy :) Wonder if they thought it was weird that I took a shower there... who cares!

That was followed by a quick lunch then accompanying Rach to her ultrasound to see the beautiful Davie (if Jonas gets his way with a name for his little sister!)... gorgeous and amazing!

Did some weights this evening. Ate a very yummy 5 point homemade pizza with fresh basil and mushrooms. Tonight Im going to try some of the pudding I froze... fingers crossed its yummy!

This weeks workout plan...
Sunday - 45 min elliptical DONE
Monday - 4 mile run/weight training DONE
Tuesday- 45 min elliptical
Wednesday - 4 mile run
Thursday - EARLY morning spin class
Friday - rest day
Saturday - 4 mile run with Nicole!

Here is too a good week... and no peeking at the scale until next sat!

bummed

Run route was planned and written down... then when it was time to get up my hubby was up getting ready for court - he forgot he had court duty this morning. We both can leave, G was still in bed and I cant take G to run with me so no run this morning. It has to happen sometime today - just not sure when Im going to fit it in without doing it when its 90 degrees outside.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

breaking 3 miles...

I know its mental since running 3 miles has become much much easier and fun... but I cant seem to get over the 3 mile mark. I try and try and right around 3 or 3.3 miles I stop. I cant get to 13.1 miles if I never get past 3!

Tomarrow I am going to push past the 3 mile marker... 4 miles here I come!

Tired...

Boy Im tired... I really really need a vacations! While I love my job I really wish I didnt have to work full time! I have worked fri, sat and now today and Im TIRED. Alittle bummed at myself that I have not gotten my workouts in these days. Friday was my day off from working out. Sat it was raining in the am so I couldnt get out to run and I was exhausted when I got off work - it was a really busy today. Today I couldnt seem to get out of bed... hate that. So tonight I will need to work out once I get home.

Other than that... yesterday and today I am feeling alittle different in my skin... happier in my skin. I can only imagine what its like once Im closer to goal!!!

And on an even more positive note... our passports came yesterday! YAAAA! I have booked our Niagara Falls trip and I cant wait to get away for a few days with my wonderful husband.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

great day so far...

Today started off with a very productive day at the gym. A killer spin class followed by a great upper body workout and abs... thanks Julie!

Also Julie informed me today at the gym that I may be crazy... like certifiable or bipolar :) She said she was reading my blog and its a great day then a HORRIBLE day then a great day and on and on and on. Which is 100% right. Rachael asked me a few days ago when I was in a BAD day how long I have been off my wellbutrin.... about 3 months. I miss the always happy I felt but hate that I had to rely on a pill to be happy. I have good days when I treat myself good - when I get my workout in, eat well and spend some time with my family or have some quality alone time(rare I know)... I have BAD days when I do not get my workout in, when I binge, when Im stressed out and I do not try to handle it appropriately. I know what makes me happy I just dont always listen to myself.

After hitting the gym I headed over to Rachael's house... oh my how I could binge at her house... it is FULL of JUNK... very yummy junk but junk still... must be fun to be preggo and eat what ever you want :)I treated myself with one single chocolate covered potatoe chip... YUMMY!

I am letting a teenager watch my son for the first time today - granted he will be napping but still. Going to treat myself to a pedicure.

Later hopefully will involve some family time at the pool, cooking on the grill for dinner and curling up with a book later.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

evening run...




YUP thats me! Yes I aimed for 4 miles and didnt quite hit the mark BUT this run was after working 12 hours, partially in the dark but still freaking 87 degrees outside and HUMID and I took on some MASSIVE hills. And I have never been so proud of me! I was actually excited on my way home from work knowing that I was jumping right into workout gear and going for a run. I was looking forward to the pain/sweat/heat...

Now I need to get over the 3 mile hurdle... I need to start accumulating some milage. I just cant seem to get over the 3 mile mark. Any suggestions?

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

ahhhh

Im in massive BITCH mode...god help my family! I need some alone time pronto!

up down up down...

Why am I an emotional rollercoaster? One day Im happy and proud of me, the next day I am a miserable unhappy bummed out mess...I want to be more the first than the later...

I didnt get my workout in this morning. Im aiming to head down and get a workout in so that I dont have to go back to the gym this evening. Regardless I need to get my workout in.

I hate working every other day - I never feel like I get down time.

Monday, July 5, 2010

proud -

Quick pop in to toot my own horn a bit...

Im proud of myself right now.

Surprise surprise, when my alarm went off this morning to run - I turned it off, rolled over and went back to bed until the last minute I can before having to get ready for work.

Before, that meant that I wouldnt work out at all today. But now Im training for a half marathon... when I have a goal to work towards I do pretty well. AND I have to log my miles in. So if I dont run in the am on a scheduled run day... well that means I have to suck it up and do it in the evening.

So after working 12 hours, I got home around 830 and by 840 I was heading to the track to run. Well the track was locked down. Did I head home and say "oh well"? HELL NO! I called my hubby to let him know my plan, set my nike+ for 30 min and started running from the school. I ran threw a few neighborhoods that Im familur with and when it got dark I headed back to the school and ran up and down the parking lot over and over and over. Turns out the parking lot is on a slant so lots of small hills - I ran fast up, jogged slow down. I ended up running 27 min. Nike + says 2.6 miles which is probually right since I do 3.1 in about 33 min.

I was proud of that - it was end of the day, still 85 degrees outside, and lots of hills.

Yaa me! TOOT TOOT!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Taking a step back...

I am on the computer ALOT... Im talking a serious amount of time throughout the day. I think I need to take a vacation from the laptop and give my son that much more face time with mom. I think we both need it.

So except checking my email I will be MIA for the rest of the week. WOW I will be going through some major withdrawl. I will be back next weekend... try not to miss me too much.

what the hell is wrong with me...

Why am I a big cranky head? I have had the past 4 days off. I have had a good few days. Why do I feel so down?

Why do I want to throw my diet out the window and eat and eat and eat?

Why do I want to just go back to bed?

Why do I want to stay on the computer forever instead of playing like a huge goof ball with my kid?

Why do I feel like such a failure at everything Im doing when I know Im doing awesome?

Im not giving in to the feelings. Im not giving in to the voices telling me to throw in the towel and eat with reckless abandon.

a better day today...

While I had a GREAT day yesterday - fabulous, wonderful, happy day with my family. A family day that was MUCH needed... I did crappy in the eating department. Yesterdays meals included pizza, sausage with peppers, fries, funnel cake, icecream. Yes BAD.

Today I NEED to be better on the eating department. I work out great - its my diet that is hurting my weight loss efforts. Today will be a slight challange because we have planned gordgonzola burgers and my goat cheese pasta dish for lunch today - about 10 points total so I need to make sure I only eat that much serving wise and make some veggies to fill up on and take it easy the rest of the meals today.

I also have an issue that once I know Im going OVER then I just stop journalling so I dont know HOW far Im over.

My goals this week -
1.to stay within in my daily points every day for the rest of the week.
2.My workout schedule this week is set... and to stick to it!
3.NO weighing myself until next saturday!

Here is my workout schedule this week
Sunday - run 1 mile, full upper body and abs workout
Monday - run 3 miles before work
tuesday - cross train with spinning
wed - run 3 miles before work
thur - cross train spinning with full upper body and abs workout
friday - rest day
saturday - run 3 miles before work

Initially I put 2 miles on my schedule to run but I easily ran 3 miles yesterday so I might as well push myself to 3 miles every day - next week I need to up the mileage :( I am scared to up mileage.

Here is to a good week!

Im glad I came one here and posted - after splurging yesterday, I had the mentality this morning - fuck it... lets go out to breakfast. It could have easily turned into a week long binge! But no my foot is down, my head is clear... I can do this!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

great family day!

Im having a great day - minus the sucky weigh in... Met up with Nicole and had a great run this morning ... so glad to have a new running friend! She rocks! We have decided to make this a 100% family day. We have decided to do fireworks tonight in North east since E has to work tomarrow for firework patrol. We are about to head to the pool and aim to be there til about 2 so G will go down for a late long nap so that he can make it tonight - fireworks are way past bed time. The only sucky part of it being a huge family day is we are missing Joshua's bday party - there are just not enough hours in the day... If we go then the entire night will be off and sucky since G will be a crank butt. I hope Sandi understands - we need to get together more... I miss her :) Why does life have to be so busy? On a side note my butt HURTS from the squat challange... HURTS! Today wont be a great day food wise but its the beginning of the week so I have some extra points available. We are going to order pizza for lunch and making burgers for dinner - they back to staying within my daily points every day. _________________________ Update - had a GREAT night! We napped until 530pm! Then headed down to north east where we had a ball! Oh and here is a movie of Gavin from the pool today... all of a sudden he decided he didnt need swimmies on anymore and could swim! I was SHOCKED!
video

weigh in day..

Today is weigh in - per my yucky scale I only lost 1 lb this week...1 lb! Im wondering if some of it is water weight because a few days ago I was alittle over a pound lighter than I am this morning and Ihave been on point for the most part. It is very frustrating. I need to quit weighing myself during the week - I need to wait until my actual weigh in day. If I hadnt weighed myself several times this week and seen a much smaller number then I wouldnt have been bummed about the 1 lb.

Oh well this is the beginning of a new week.

Friday, July 2, 2010

September 11, 2001

I was just reminded of that day and the weeks that followed. We just finished watching "Remember Me" - I didnt realize it ended on September 11th 2001.

My husband says that I look like I just came from a funeral Im crying so hard.

This movie brought that day back fresh in my mind - but more importantly reminded me that all of those that were killed or injured had families, had people they loved,friends, jobs, kids, pets, lovers, parents, they had lives... and now they dont.

My heart goes out to those that had their lives changed so drastically in the blink of an eye.

Good morning...

Yesterday morning I was in a funk but pushed through it and had a rocking Spin class followed by an amazing much needed nap. Took Rach out to see Eclipse for her bday - not as good as the book but still loved it. Dinner didnt go so well - preggo took one look at her food and had to walk out of the restuarant... oh the joys of being pregnant! So I packed up dinner and we headed home. My salmon was amazing! I munched on way too much last night though - twislers I didnt need, granola bars dipped in peanut butter. But all in all my day eating wise could have been worse.

Typically when I decided to enjoy a meal that turns into a free for all the entire day if not week. Its hard to rein myself back in.

I was going to take today off workout wise since Im running a 5K with Nicole tomarrow. But since I did indulge a bit yesterday I should do something so I think I might go downstairs, run a mile and do upper body weights again.

Im doing the july lunge challange on facebook -
I did my first day yesterday - wow I hate lunges!

Also yesterday I watched Roni (roniweighs.com) talk about maintenence... that is my biggest fear. I am terrified about losing all of this weight and then trying to live normally and gain it all back. I couldnt figure out how I would do it - she had some great pointers and reminded me yet again that 1. its do-able and 2. the challange doesnt end (and tracking) once I see that magical number. Check her out

I wanted to weigh myself VERY badly today but decided to wait until official weigh in tomarrow.

Looking forward to a few days off with my hubby... i hope he knows that he means the world to me... he is my biggest fan!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

TIRED

I have worked 5 12 hour shifts in the past 6 days. I stayed up too late last night. Im so freaking sore from tuesdays weights. And I want to whine! I dont want to be awake. I dont want to go to the gym. I dont want to do anything.

Which is not how I want to feel at the beginning of my 4 days off when it is GORGEOUS outside and I have a great day planned.

So Im sucking it up and going through the motions of the day and hope that halfway through I will get in the mood of the pretty day off somehwere along the line.

So todays plan... need to get moving!

Spin class at 930.

Followed by taking G to the park.

Followed by cleaning my disgusting bathrooms.

Followed by nap time... I think for both of us!

Then Eclipse!

Then dinner out - bonefish with my BFF... love a girls evening out! We deserve it big time! And if you are reading this missy... hopefully next summer neither of us are preggo and we can hit the beach again... that was so so so much fun and we definately need some time away from the boys/men!